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Damian Lewis:’ We were a very loud category , not a lot of listening, abundance of talking’

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The Homeland actor talks about going to boarding school aged eight, why his family thought of duty is not always helpful and how his mother told him not to marry an actor

I grew up in London, one of four children . We were a very loud family , not a lot of listening, plenty of talking. My mum was a hearth mother, she adoration to gather us all around her Sunday lunches were a big thing. She was very good at recollecting on her feet parties used to say she should go into politics. My pa has always been very theatrical . He never ran in the theater hes ever wielded in assurance but in another life and another time, he could have done that. His love of the theater symbolized I was always going to shows and plays as I was growing up; and then I started behaving at school.

I went to boarding school from the age of eight first to prep school, then to Eton. One concept that kind of education schools you is parish living: theres little recede. Thats why people come out of it and talk about lifelong friendships forged in the furnace. The cut and thrust of a successful academy are very significantly bonding. I was always encouraged to be on units at athletic; I got a lot from that. Would I mail my son to Eton? I might.

My parents came to see me in a play at Eton when I was 16. And then, when I remarked I wanted to try for drama school, they knew there was enough ardour there for them to be courageous and back me. Both of them enunciated: Proceed for it. I recollect my mother saying: Id rather you went to drama school to do something you enjoy than go to university and get a second-rate grade in something you havent loved doing.

My background was somewhat conservative and I think theres a strong thought of duty in a background like that, and I dont be considered that always helpful. As “youre living” their own lives, what comes into sharp-worded focus is the choice between obedience and what is required to do for you. So I wouldnt want to impose a sense of duty on my children, but I believe a sense of standing is always important. Its about behaving honourably when stirring alternatives being careful over them, making a considered choice.

I say to my children [ Manon, 10, and Gulliver, nine] that sometimes in life there are tough minutes: you may find yourself on one side of the room and everyone else is on the other. It might be easy to foreman across to where they are: but if you believe that what youre saying is right, be intrepid, because thats the right thing to do.

My dad used to say : No one expects you to be best available at everything. All we expect is that you try the very best. Because if you dont try your best, “youre going to be” disappointed. That message gives you a sense of competition with yourself, it drives you on. I think its quite a ingenious happen to tell someone. My mum used to say to us : All I care about is that youre manner and astute. But my dad was more transactional, he used to say: You cooperate with us, and we will cooperate with you. I say that to my own children.

A large-scale sadness for me is that my children didnt get to experience my mother as a grandmother[ she died in a automobile crash in 2001 ]. She would have been amazing. She merely determined the beginning[ of my success] she came on the list of Band of Brothersand met Tom Hanks. She was aware I was being asked to do a preferably amazing position and that I was thoughts in a certain tendency. She was incredibly proud of me.

My mom used to say two things to me : Stir sure you get married before youre 35, and: Dont marry an actor. But she would have been over the moon with Helen[ McCrory, relevant actors] whom I converged when I was 36. Theres a sadness for me that these two strong madams never encountered there would have been a real hum between them.

Damian Lewis is supporting the Sohana Research Fund, sohanaresearchfund.org . He is appearing in The Goat, or Who is Sylvia ? at the Haymarket theatre, London until 3 June

10+ Who Wore It Better? Pics That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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Who wore their pants better, Justin Bieber or a baby? Who looks better in black and white, Kim Kardashian or a killer whale? Can Kendall Jenner’s style really compete with a shredded car seat? We really can’t decide, so it looks like it’s over to you to tell us just who exactly wore it better. Check out the funny collection of pictures below to see what we mean. Compiled by Bored Panda, the list is full of hilariously bizarre fashion comparisons that you won’t be able to stop laughing about. Don’t forget to vote for your favorite!

This submission is hidden.

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/who-wore-it-better-9/

Viola Beach single Swings& Waterslides participates surface 20 – BBC News

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Viola Beach have entered the singles graph at numeral 11, a week after the Warrington band died in a car crash.

Tomas Lowe, Kris Leonard, River Reeves and Jack Dakin expired along with director Craig Tarry on Saturday while on tour in Stockholm.

They were killed when their gondola immersed more than 25 m (8 2ft) from a highway bridge into a canal.

Fans have since been campaigning to get their chant Swings& Waterslides to number one.

The single reached the top of the Apple iTunes graph but has just missed out on the official top 10.

An investigation into what stimulated the gate-crash is still ongoing.

It’s been claimed there used to be safety roadblocks and red light in place.

The single reached the top of the Apple iTunes chart but has just missed out on the official top 10.

Danish quartet Lukas Graham have topped the chart for a second week with their single 7 Years.

The group’s lead singer, who the band was identified after, supposed: “7 Times seems to have attracted a lot of age groups – parties seem to see their own lives in the hymn and it’s great to see so many parties reacting in that room to it.”

Former One Direction member Zayn Malik takes second place in the singles plot with Pillowtalk, while Rihanna, Jonas Blue& Dakota and Shawn Mendes end the Top 5.

Media captionAdele’s Grammy Awards microphone malfunction and other slip-ups

Over on the album map, Adele’s 25 rises to the crown after her figure at the Grammys on Sunday.

The boost in auctions is despite her off-key live rendition of album way All I Question at the ceremony.

She explained afterwards that a microphone had descended on the piano strings, inducing her to sound out-of-tune.

Elsewhere on the chart, David Bowie stumbles collecting Best of Bowie continues to sell well after his death, climbing to number two, while Justin Bieber’s album likewise advances to count three.

Ronan Keating tallies the highest brand-new entry of the week, with Time Of “Peoples lives” becoming his eighth book to contact the top 10.

‘White supremacists by default’: How ordinary people attained Charlottesville possible

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( CNN ) Blame President Trump for his tepid moral answer. Call the neo-Nazis and grey patriots thugs. Fill your Facebook and Twitter histories with moral outrage.

It’s easy to focus on the angry lily-white souls in paramilitary paraphernalium who looked like the latter are mobilizing for a hasten conflict in the Virginia college town last Saturday. But it’s the ordinary people — the voters who elected a reality TV starring with a record of shaping racially insensitive observations, the ones who move out of the neighborhood when people of color keep it moving, the family members who reject a relative’s anti-Semitism — who give these type of men chamber to operate, they say.

This isn’t the Jim Crow segregation that one reads about in the history books. It’s the covert or “down-low” segregationist push that has influenced much of contemporary America since overt intolerance became taboo in the 1960 s, supposes David Billings, who wrote about growing up grey in the segregated South in his memoir, “Deep Denial: The Persistence of White Supremacy in United States History and Life.”
“Across the country, white people withdrew from the ‘public’ sphere and moved to ‘whites only’ suburbs to escape ethnic incorporation, ” Billings wrote. “The word ‘public’ preceding texts like ‘housing, ‘ ‘hospital, ‘ ‘health care, ‘ ‘transportation, ‘ ‘defender, ‘ ‘schools, ‘ and even ‘swimming pool’ in some parts of the country became code words that meant good and most often black and Latino. The text ‘private’ began to signify ‘better.”’
This white separatism continues today. Whites move out so often when nonwhites move in that sociologists have a mention for the phenomenon. It’s called “racial tipping.”
This separation likewise occurs in the private lives of many white Americans, according to one pollster. In 2013, Robert Jones, CEO of the Public Religion Research Institute, made a splashing after conducting a sketch where he found that 75% of greys in the United States didn’t have a single person of color in their social clique — they are had lily-white sidekicks .
Jones polled a complex theme. Many people of color self-segregate as well, and some American neighborhoods are so segregated that tenants never come in contact with parties of other racial or different ethnic groups .
Yet some white Americans are driven by the same impulses that drove some of the grey racists in Charlottesville — ethnic break.
“White parties in the last century and a half have made a awareness effort to resegregate themselves, ” adds Edward Ball, scribe of “Slaves in the Family, ” a memoir about coming to periods with hearing their own families owned slaves .
“We have to work hard to build our social lives reflect our values, because white people do not choose the societies of people of color generally, ” he announces .
Ball formerly expressed the view that “unconsciously or unwittingly, all of us grey tribes participate in forms of supremacist thoughts and activity.”
The indignant lily-white guys in Charlottesville were just being open about their lily-white dominance. Ball says he wasn’t surprised by their boldness .
“Their climate is now better for them, ” he suggests .

No. 2: Those who articulate ‘yes, but…’

President Trump’s critics bombed him for not coming out strong enough against the white racists who paraded in Charlottesville. Trump initially denounced the “egregious showing of hatred, bigotry, and brutality on numerous sides.” It was the “many sides” qualifier that infuriated some people. They craved an unambiguous attack of intolerance from a president .
Trump’s “many sides” response, though, wasn’t that abnormal in the context of US history. It used to be the norm for white-hot political leaders to draw a moral equivalence between racists and those who suffered from their acts of barbarism, historians add.
It’s the “yes, but” rhetorical movement — condemn racism but contribute a qualifier to diminish the seriousnes of what the hell are you been said .

The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. ran into this “yes, but” response so much better that he wrote about it in his “Letter from Birmingham Jail.”
He wrote :
“I have almost arrived at the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his pace toward discretion is not the White Citizens’ Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the grey moderate who is more devoted to ‘order’ than to justice; who prefers a negative agreement, which is the absence of tension, to a positive agreement, which is the presence of right; who invariably suggests: ‘I agree with you in the goals and targets you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action…'”
President Dwight Eisenhower took the “yes, but” approach when he deplored he couldn’t move too fast to comply with the Supreme Court’s decision to integrate institutions because people had to respect the Southern way of life, responds Carol Anderson, author of “White Rage” and a prof of African-American learns at Emory University in Atlanta .
A recent Washington Post section leaved other examples: When Southern ministers like Orval Faubus of Arkansas and Earl Long of Louisiana were pressured in the 1950 s to cease discrimination, they announced both the NAACP and the White Citizens’ Councils, a fanatic segregationist group, “extremists.”

“You get that equivocation, ” reads Anderson, “that trying to make a plan that absolutely deprives beings of their humanity on equality with parties expecting their humanity.”
That “yes, but” approach is often used today to repudiate the grudges of the Black Lives Matter movement, another professor announces. Whenever an unarmed pitch-black or brown person is was shot dead by police, some deflect the questions by saying, “Yes, but all lives matter.”
“When a police officer films an unarmed black person, even then it’s contentious to do racism is a factor, ” enunciates Erik Love, a sociologist at Dickinson College in Pennsylvania. “We read, ‘Why don’t we are discussing these other issues. What about the crime rate, what police officers need to protect themselves.’ And abruptly we’re not speak about race anymore.”

No. 3: Those who choose chaos

There’s a famed strand from the classic cinema, “Casablanca.” A police officer is closing down a casino, swearing, “I’m appalled — shocked — to find that gambling is going on in here! ” — all while pocketing his casino acquires as they’re being handed to him on the sly.
That line could apply to Trump adherents who say they’re frustrated by the President’s announcements on hasten since Charlottesville appeared .
How could you be shocked ?
“This is who he is, this is what he does, ” alleges Anderson, the Emory University professor. “‘Mexicans are rapists and criminals.’ That’s what he said in his first lecture. Their complicity comes in the form of self-denial instead of owning it.”
For those who say they voted for Trump despite his intolerance, Anderson offers this analogy: Minister Louis Farrakhan .
Farrakhan is a leader in some parts of the pitch-black parish because of his word of self-help and black empowerment. He contacted peak popularity in the 1990 s, but he also urged anti-Semitic, anti-white, anti-Catholic and anti-homosexual rhetoric. And the organization he leads, the Commonwealth of Islam, has taught that white people are inherently evil .

“If he was flowing for role and black people voted in droves for him, the narrative would be, ‘They’re subsidizing a racist, ”’ she says.
Ta-Nehisi Coates, an acclaimed columnist on hasten relations, made a similar controversy after Trump’s election in an interview with Vox’s Ezra Klein, where he responded to commentators who said not all white-hot voters who supported Trump endorsed all of his ideas.
“As my friend said, is that what you said to the followers of Louis Farrakhan? No , nothing says that to the admirers of Louis Farrakhan. No, they explosion him as an anti-Semite, which he is, and respond, ‘how can beings follow this bigoted word? ‘ That’s the eventual evidence — that you could be Donald Trump and be President. There is no black person who could have the kind of weakness Donald Trump has and, inferno, be governor. Maybe you could be mayor somewhere.”
Many voters knew Trump would bring something else to the Oval Office — chaos. That’s why they chose him. He’s their first reality Tv chairwoman, one novelist alleges .
Many voting in favour Trump because they liked the persona he raised as the hotshot of “The Apprentice.” Reality TV reinforces reputations who pronounce rude and deplorable stuffs, reputations are often thrown as racial stereotypes, and those who prompted “the worlds largest” chaos get the most attention, alleges Joy Lanzendorfer, author of the Vice article, “How Reality TV Made Donald Trump President.”
“He would say shameful circumstances about parties, act out and smash the rules, but parties weirdly respected it, ” she suggests. “They said he was a win, and that’s how a winner wins.”
It’s not, nonetheless, how many would want a nation’s manager to administer a ethnic crisis.

No. 4: Those who ogle the other way

Ari Kohen knows something about the cost of abhor. When he looked at portraits of neo-Nazis singing “Jews will not supplant us! ” in Charlottesville, he thought of his grandfather, Zalman Kohen. He was living in rural Romania in 1944 when the Nazis rounded him up with the help of his neighbors and communicated him to a death camp.
His grandfather existed, moved to the United States and lived until he was 90. But he never returned to Romania, does Kohen, an assistant professor of political science at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
“He could never forgive his neighbours, ” he answers. “These were people who, perhaps they didn’t love Jews, but this organization is people who lived next to each other. They knew his family and he knew their family. The opinion that they could all stand by while life was completely and forever changed for a significant portion of their community — he could never understand it.”
Many scholars have been perplexed by the same wonder. When they cross-examine genocidal episodes like the Holocaust, many come to the same conclusion:
Never underestimate the ability of ordinary people to look away .
Some do it with own family members. Kohen alleges the hundreds of white-hot prejudiceds who condescended on Charlottesville must have family or pals who observed their behavior ahead. He suspects that some refused to confront them .
“There’s this wink and nod, everyone knows that this person is going down a hazardous path and parties passively go along with it, ” he replies. “They don’t wishes to rock the boat. This is family or a friend. It’s hard to interval yourself from parties you care about.”

This passivity extends to how people react when their country’s chairmen become intolerant, others speak. Once you see it coming, you have a duty to act, enunciates Naison, the activist and Fordham professor.
“If you don’t speak up when those kinds of ideology is being promoted at the highest level, you end up being complicit in the steps taken by its most extreme adherents, ” Naison says. “Once the demons are unleashed, you’ve become a co-conspirator.”
Naison says he doesn’t make most Americans realize how hazardous it is in their country right now. He’s warned people who voting in favour Trump.
“I told these people, you can’t restrain this; you’re playing with fire, ” Naison suggests. “Open, brutal communal combat is scary. You can’t restrain it. Look at what took place in the Balkans, Northern Ireland, Israel.”
There’s too proof, though, that billions of ordinary Americans from all strolls of life don’t want that kind of America. Heather Heyer, the demonstrator who lost her life in Charlottesville, was a young grey wife who marched in solidarity with pitch-black demonstrators. Millions of Americans have since taken to the streets or social media to stand against what happened there .
Former President Barack Obama even weighed in with a photo and repeat that’s become the most liked tweet ever on Twitter .
Obama quoted Nelson Mandela, the South African leader who knew something about dislike and reconciliation. In his 1994 autobiography “Long Walk to Freedom, ” Mandela wrote :
“No one is born detesting another person because of the color of his scalp or his background or his belief. People must learn to dislike, and if they can memorize to dislike, they can be taught to enjoy, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Yet to get to that home Mandela talked about, there may be a need to not just look at the usual believes parties criticize when ethnic violence spills into public panorama.
If you want to know why those white racists now feel so emboldened, it may help to look at all the ordinary people around you, your neighbors, your family members, your presidents .
But first, begin by looking at yourself .

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week – 1/10

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Last week, we learned a lot about foodstuffs. And also, hats dyed with blood.

#10. 15 Countries You Picture Wrong Vs. Reality: Side By Side

Hey, ladies! (get government-y now…)

“Anyone who’s watched television or movies or even checked out a meme or two in the last decade will see that the same tired stereotypes are being pushed around. Naturally, some people just sort of accept these things as true without a second thought.”

#9. 6 Monster Legends Too Intense For The Western World

Think lightning quick, homicidal garden gnome.

“It’s said to live in and around old ruined castles, venturing outside to kill locals, because it needs their blood to dye its hat. That’s right, the eponymous ‘red cap’ needs to stay a very particular shade of red, and only human blood will do.”

#8. The 45 Most Badass Lines Ever Uttered In Real Life

That was life in the “no chill” era.

“Ever been in a situation where you were left speechless, only to think of something awesome to say way after the point? These guys didn’t have that problem.”

#7. 5 Things I’ve Learned As An Adult With No Driver’s License

You know who else never got a driver’s license? Woody Allen. So there’s that company to consider if you suffer from non-driving shame.

“Is it pathetic to admit that I don’t trust myself to operate a car? That I can’t envision myself merging onto a highway or hitting the brakes in time without causing a Final Destination chain reaction? Well, color me pathetic, because these are things I’m afraid of.”

#6. The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (1/5)

Hey, you sure ain’t getting that kind of exposure on Yelp.

“Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to dry out a flooded basement with a sponge. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity.”

Last week, we learned a lot about foodstuffs. And also, hats dyed with blood.

#10. 15 Countries You Picture Wrong Vs. Reality: Side By Side

Hey, ladies! (get government-y now…)

#9. 6 Monster Legends Too Intense For The Western World

Think lightning quick, homicidal garden gnome.

#8. The 45 Most Badass Lines Ever Uttered In Real Life

That was life in the “no chill” era.

#7. 5 Things I’ve Learned As An Adult With No Driver’s License

You know who else never got a driver’s license? Woody Allen. So there’s that company to consider if you suffer from non-driving shame.

#6. The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (1/5)

Hey, you sure ain’t getting that kind of exposure on Yelp.

Read more: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/EDSSvHXfAIw/article_23558_10-cracked-posts-everyone-went-nuts-over-last-week-110.html

Where is the world’s most dangerous country for young people?

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The enlarging gap in teenager mortality between the developed and developing world is down to industrial accidents, violence and sicknes, a brand-new analysis shows

Violence, preventable illness and traffic accidents are to blame for a widening of the teenager fatality chink between the developed and developing world, according to a brand-new Guardian analysis of the most recent World Health Organisation( WHO) data.

The most dangerous country in the world to be a young person( defined as aged between 15 and 29) is Sierra Leone, with one youth in every 150 there estimated to have died in 2015. Its teenager mortality rates per 100,000( 671) is virtually 100 people higher than the next country on the listing, war-torn Syria( 579 ).

Cyprus is the safest of the 184 countries analysed, with a mortality rate of virtually one in every 4,762 youths, while Denmark, the fifth safest, halved its number of young fatalities between 2000 and 2015. The United Kingdom( one in every 3,030 young people) is ranked just outside the top 10 safest countries, behind Israel.

chart – Nine of the 10 more dangerous countries to be a young person are in Africa

The analysis finds that young people in the United States are six meters as likely to be murdered as their British equivalents. They are also more than three times as likely to be killed in a car disintegrate, and twice as likely to commit suicide or overdose on doses. Self-harm is the most common cause of death for young person in the UK.

Liberal drug policies in the Netherlands may be responsible for a proportion of drug-related demises almost exactly ten times lower than in the US.

Globally, the mortality rate for young people declined 21% between 2000 and 2015, with HIV-related deaths in particular falling greatly. Yet the gap between developing and developed countries has enlarged in that interval, from 2.2 up to 2.4 times higher.

The explanation is that, while boy mortality rates are falling fastest in “the worlds” most and less developed countries, the worsen is greatly slower in mid-tier countries such as Brazil and Venezuela, as defined by the Human Development Index.

chart – The US and UK share the same five leading causes of death among young people, though America has the far higher mortality rate

Syria is the only non-African country to feature among the 25 countries experiencing the highest teenager mortality rates. Despite that, considerably more young people croaked as a result of violence in Brazil in 2015 than in Syria.

In Nigeria, the fourth worst-performing country, approximately 235,000 youths are estimated to have died in 2015. In absolute terms, this is only the second highest number of young deaths in the world after India, whose person is seven times greater.

Venezuela
Venezuela has the most important one boy mortality rates from industrial accidents in “the worlds”. Image: Ueslei Marcelino/ Reuters

Road accidents

Road collisions are the most common cause of death of young people throughout the world. The WHO estimates that 350,000 young person died in 2015 as a result of traffic-related hurts. While the problem feigns both developed and developing countries, the data divulges markedly different trends.

For example, while traffic-related death toll of Ecuador increased by 110% from 2000 to 2015, Spain managed to reduce its traffic-related extinctions by 85% in the same period.

In Luxembourg, one of the safest countries in the world, 46% of youth fatality is caused by traffic accident, but the related mortality rates is just under 10 per 100,000 almost half the average world-wide frequency. In Venezuela, traffic injuries generate 29% of young deaths, but they kill 70 out of 100,000 young people each year the highest rates in the world. Besides Venezuela, every other country in the top 20 for traffic-related demises is in Africa.

Violence

The median world mortality rate relevant to personal savagery has decreased by about 14%, from 12 to 10 young deaths per 100,000. But it remains very high in a few Latin American countries such as Brazil, El Salvador, Colombia, Honduras and Venezuela.

In El Salvador in The countries of central america, the rate reached 104 per 100,000 in 2015. Thats almost 10 eras as high as the world-wide norm, and virtually 500 times higher than Japan, one of the countries with the lowest levels of reported violence in the world.

Organised violation, the levels of difference, inadequate law enforcement and the tactical slot of these countries on the international dose sell all contribute to clearing violence a persistent trouble in the region.

chart – Interpersonal brutality and street harm are major troubles in South America

About 33,000 young people are estimated to have died in Brazil in 2015 as a result of countries of the region epidemic of violence. Thats considerably higher than the number of people in this age compas killed during Syria in the same time 24,000.

The youth mortality rate for some of the countries in the region is as high as far less developed countries. In Brazil, it stands at 156 per 100,000, higher than India( 153 ), while in Venezuela the rate( 244) is same to Niger( 248 ).

Self-harm

While the number of deaths from self-harm decreased during the period, the WHO estimates that 220,000 people took their lives in 2015, constructing it the second most frequent cause of death among young people.

Countries as diverse as Sri Lanka, Russia, New Zealand and Argentina have self-harm-related mortality rates over 20 per 100,000 for this age group, while almost half of all young death toll of Iceland in 2015 were due to self-harm.

It is also the most common cause of death for young people in the UK although the country has a relatively low proportion when compared to the rest of the world, at six per 100,000.

Preventable diseases

From 2000 to 2015, death toll of African countries related to pregnancy, tuberculosis, parasitical sickness including malaria and diarrhoea fell by around a third. These extinctions are easily preventable with adequate healthcare and sanitation, and seldom occur in western Europe. However, they are still some of the most common causes of young deaths in many African countries.

In Sierra Leone, 74 out of 100,000 parties succumbed as a result of pregnancy. The world-wide median is less than nine per 100,000. About 1,800 young person died in Somalia due to diarrhoea, a cause of death thats been almost completely eradicated in more than 50 countries.

The number of HIV-related fatalities has halved in ten years, but still takes a heavy fee in countries such as Lesotho, where it kills 218 of every 100,000 young people.

Table – Global youth mortality rates

The Day I Decided My Daughter Will Not Choose Her Own Friends

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We helicopter over our kids wardrobes, nutrition, sleep schedules, hygiene, science fair projects and then pride ourselves on how hands off we are on social issues.

By Leslie Blanchard

I will never forget the day my daughter told me that Bethany, a girl in her 4th grade class, was annoying her.

What is she doing to you? I questioned, instinctively protective.

Shes following me around on the playground and sitting by me at lunch! she quipped, as if that would sum things right up and get me squarely on her side of the matter.

You mean shes trying to be friends with you? I asked incredulously.

I realized immediately that I had a problem on my hands. I was raising my own worst nightmare. Smack dab in the middle of my brood of five kids, was a charismatic, sassy, leggy, blonde, dance-y, athletic girl oozing confidence and apparently annoyance, directed toward another little girl that wasnt lucky enough to be her. Inconveniently for my daughter, her own mother WAS Bethany in grade school. Freckled of face and frizzy of hair, I was an Army brat, always the new girl clamoring for a friend, drawn to the natural confidence of girls like my daughter. This conversation found me vacillating between heartache and fury, but one thing I knew for sure: Mama was about to put her money where her mouth had been all these years.

The battle of two very strong wills ensued at my home the next morning. It wasnt pretty, but I prevailed. My daughter attended a private Catholic grade school, where on any given day, she and a handful of her cohorts ruled the roost. One quick phone call to Bethanys mother that same evening confirmed my worst fears. My daughter and her posse were using everything short of a can of Cling Free to rid themselves of the annoying Bethany.

Im sure there are parents out there who will say I overreacted. But, I firmly believe weve got to start to address our countrys bullying epidemic right at the heart; by re-defining bullying at its very core. To me, the rejection and complete lack of interest my daughter and her clique displayed toward Bethany was the beginning of a subtle type of bullying. It is true (confirmed to me by Bethanys mom and teachers), that there was no overt unkindness or name-calling, etc., just rejection; a complete lack of interest in someone they wrongly concluded had nothing to offer them. After experiencing childhood myself and raising five of my own, Ive been on every side of the bullying social dynamic, and I am convinced this is where it begins. A casual assessment and quick dismissal of an outsider.

We would serve our children well, in my opinion, if we had a frank conversation with them about what motivates human beings to accept and reject others. It happens at every age and stage of life, race, creed and religion. It has its roots in our own fears of rejection and lack of confidence. Everyone is jockeying for their own spot on the Social Food Chain. I feel like I have experienced demonstrable success with my children by tabling this dynamic right out in the open. Parents need to call it by name, speak it out loud, shine a bright light in its ugly face. We need to admit to our children that we too experience this, even as adults. Of course its tempting to curry favor and suck-up to the individual a rung of two above you on the Social Ladder, but every single human being deserves our attention and utmost respect. In spite of this, we have to constantly remind our children and ourselves that everyone can bring unexpected and unanticipated value to our lives. But we have to let them.

Its simply not enough to instruct your children to Be Nice! Youve got to be more specific than that. Kids think if they arent being outright unkind, they are being nice. We know better. Connect the ugly dots. Explain the social survival instinct thats often motivating and guiding their impulses. I promise you, they can handle it. They already see it on some level anyway. They just need YOU to give it a voice and re-direction.

As for my girl, I instructed her that she was going to invest some time and energy getting to know Bethany. I assigned her to come home from school the next day and report three cool things she found out about Bethany, that she didnt previously know. My strong-willed child dug in. She did not want to do that. I dug in deeper. I refused to drive her to school the next morning, until she agreed. It seemed that, at least until now, I had the car keys and the power. Her resistance gave us time to have the long overdueconversation. I walked her through my ATM Machine Analogy. I explained to her that she had social bank to spare. She could easily make a withdrawal on behalf of this little girl, risking very little.

Lets invest! I enthused and encouraged.

Dont Miss: Dad Lets Son Stay at a SleepoverThat Night, He Gets a Text With Just One Letter

She got dressed reluctantly and I drove her to school. She had a good daywhat was left of it. But, she was still buggy with me when I picked her up, telling me that her friends mothers stay out of such matters and let their daughters choose their own friends! (Such wise women.) And then she told me three cool things about Bethany that she didnt previously know.

I checked back in with Bethanys mother by phone two weeks later. Its called follow through. (I dont think enough of us are doing that. We helicopter over our kids wardrobes, nutrition, sleep schedules, hygiene, science fair projects and then pride ourselves on how hands off we are on social issues. If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to say, Seriously? You micro-manage the literal crap out of every thing your child does from his gluten intake to his soccer cleats, but THIS you stay out of? No wonder theres zero accountability and a bullying culture!) Bethanys mother assured me that she had been welcomed into the fold of friendship and was doing well.

Bethanys family moved to another state a few years later. My daughter cried when they parted ways. They still keep in touch through all their social media channels. She was and is a really cool girl, with a lot to offer her peers. But the real value was to my daughter, obviously. She gained so much through that experience. She is now a 20-year-old college sophomore, with a widely diverse group of friends. She is kind, inclusive and open to all types of people. When she was malleable, impressionable and mine to guide:

She learned her initial instinct about people isnt always correctly motivated.

She learned you can be friends with the least likely people; the best friendships arent people that are your type! In the world of friendship, contrast is a plus.

She learned that there are times, within a given social framework, that you are in a position to make a withdrawal on behalf of someone else. Be generous, invest! It pays dividends.

But, most importantly, she learned that, while I may not be overly-interested in what she gets on her Science Fair project, couldnt care less if shes Lactose Intolerant or whether her long blonde hair is snarled, shes going to damn well treat people right.

Parentsyour kids are going to eventually develop the good sense to wear a jacket and eat vegetables, invest your energy in how they interact within society. If we insist on being the hovering Helicopter Parent Generation, lets at least hover over the right areas.

Train up a child in the way he should go,And when he is old he will not depart from it.~Proverbs 22:6

About the Author:Leslie Blanchard is a wife and mother of five, who tattles on her husband, her own mother and her children by chronicling the insane and mundane in all of their lives in a fairly public way. Collectively, her family more or less rues the day they purchased her an iPad. Now that shes officially a blogger, Leslie lies in the tub, neglecting her considerable responsibilities and muses about marriage, motherhood, friendship and other matters of life outside the bubbles. Read more from Leslie on her blog A Ginger Snapped: Facing the Music of Marriage & Motherhood.

Dont Miss: Quit Doing These 8 Things for Your Teen This Year if You Want to Raise an Adult

Read more: http://faithit.com/day-decided-daughter-will-not-choose-friends-raising-bully-leslie-blanchard/

Gabriel Jesus:’ I like certain challenges. The biggest battles go to the biggest warriors’

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The brilliant Palmeiras and Brazil forwards tells the Guardian about the phone call from Pep Guardiola that persuaded him to meet Manchester City and that his mum is never pleased with him unless he facilitates out defensively too

No one wants to be told off by their baby and Gabriel Jesus is no different. The Brazilian wonderkid, who signed for Manchester City in the summer for 27 m and will join the Premier League chairmen in January, is an opportunity to become one of best available sends in “the worlds” but what makes him stand out even more is his are looking forward to likewise help out defensively.

It is not a attribute he shares with too many forwards but then they may not get a rollocking from their baby if they do not help out at the back. Gabriel Jesus does. Yes, its true that my mother has a go at me when I dont track back, he says in his first interrogation with non-Brazilian media since signing for City. We are very, very close and she necessitates a lot from me, which is great. She only praises me if I have done something is worth adoration. I am really happy to have a mum like that, who really upkeeps. She ever tells me the truth and her seriousnes facilitates me a lot.

Mrs Vera Lcia is a constant and tremendously positive attendance in Gabriel Jesuss life and that is no astonish considering his upbringing. The musicians father died when Gabriel Jesus was young and his mother invoked him and his three brothers on her own. She was a cleaner back then and there was not a lot of coin around. A football participate grows up faster than other beings, he supposes. I grew up very soon because of the difficulties and responsibilities that I have always had.

Gabriel Jesus is a very mature 19 -year-old. We meet at Academia de futebol, Palmeirass training centre and he is respectful and humble. He does not wear sunglasses or headphones and does not play with his mobile during the course of its interview. He starts by apologising for being late. I had to do the sparkler bath, he explains.

It has been a hectic 18 months for the man from Jardim Peri, a humble locality on the suburbs of So Paulo( it is a comunidade , a kind of favela , simply a little bit more peaceful ). In March 2015 he made his debut for Palmeiras after tallying 37 destinations in 22 games in the Paulista Under-1 7 competition and at the end of the season he was reputation the best beginner of the Brasileiro .

And that was just the beginning. This summer he won Olympic gold with Braziland then manufactured his debut for the senior unit, tallying two purposes in a 3-0 away win against Ecuador. And he is still a teen. The former Brazil and Real Madrid striker Ronaldo, for one, is a devotee: When I learn Gabriel I think about my own past. He has a incredible jaunt ahead, Ronaldo told TV Globo recently.

It is not that long ago Gabriel Jesus was playing for the amateur squad Pequeninos do Meio Ambiente on the pitches of the military prison camp Romo Gomes. He moved on to Anhanguera but, unlike numerous prodigious knacks these days, he did not join a upper side Palmeiras until the age of 15 so his job was very much determined by street football.

Gabriel Jesus: knowledge, maneuvers and points.

His childhood neighbourhood is always on his memory and on his surface. On his forearm there is a tattoo demo a boy with a ball in his hands looking at a favela in front of him, fantasy of a better future in football. The tattoo is almost identical to the one that his sidekick Neymar has.

I have always enjoyed working hard and thats why I try to give my best good tactically as well as going forward. From an early age, in my vrzea daytimes[ a special type of Brazilian street football ], I tried to take in all the instructions of all the managers I had. I am the same today. After all, it is very important to penetrate the tone knowing what I have to do to help the team.

He no longer lives in Jardim Peri but goes back to visit sidekicks. When doing so in December he was stopped by the police while driving his expensive automobile. A dark-skinned boy cannot drive a neat gondola in the community where he grew up without being stopped by the police. Everyone knows how hard it is to be pitch-black in our communities, he wrote on Instagram.

He remain in Jardim Peri until last year. He could have left for So Paulo as early as 2010 but the sorority did not render him adaptation, meaning that he would have had to travel for four hours to get to and from practice, and that would have had a negative impact on his school work.

Not that Gabriel Jesus paid too much attention to anything apart from football. My whole life have traditionally been football and that simply, he suggests. Since I was six years old Ive only really was just thinking about football. I used to watch it on Tv, play-act video games and so on. I precisely adore football. Some parties joke that I am too into it but football exactly summing-up up my life.

His discipline is surprising for such a young age, and this is probably one of the things that has impressed Pep Guardiola, the manager who was hopeless to introduce him to City. Gabriel Jesus was a red-hot prospect even before the Olympics and City were able to beat off challenger from Barcelona, Manchester United, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain partly because of a phone call from their new manager.

It was a complicated decision, but in the end my desire to learn won, Gabriel Jesus says. The spirit of Guardiola as a manager at City and the facts of the case that it is a great association were very important factors in my final decision. Guardiolas phone call was a huge part of me deciding to go there. It saw me realise that Id love to work with him. I dont know him personally hitherto but he already made me feel very safe about his project there.

Gabriel
Gabriel Jesus, celebrating here after scoring for Palmeiras against Figueirense in June, hopes to win the Brazilian deed before to access to Manchester. Picture: Brazil Photo Press/ CON/ LatinContent/ Getty Images

Where will he play though? City are not exactly lacking in assaulting expertise with Sergio Agero, Raheem Sterling, David Silva, Nolito, Kelechi Iheanacho, Kevin De Bruyne, Leroy San and Jess Navas able to occupy the forward ranks. For Palmeiras Gabriel Jesus played wide on the left before Cuca, the manager, moved him into the centre with good results: 11 points in 18 conference games.

I see I will fight for a situate as a winger in the team, he responds. I actually prefer playing as a left-winger rather than a striker, but I simply want to be very clear that Im willing to play in either statu. I am often prepared to give up a position high on the slope and is to assist defensively because some good commemorate and undertaking can cause a objective for my crew in the end. Id like to think that Im a versatile player.

Only two years ago, during the course of its World cup finals, Gabriel Jesus was decorating the sidewalk of his street in dark-green and yellow-bellied as a love. Today he is one of the reference points in attempt for guild and country. Palmeiras are objection for the entitlement, they drum Corinthians 2-0 at the weekend to abide top, and Gabriel Jesus desperately wants to leave for Manchester City having won the tournament. At Verdo he is an undisputed idol Glory, majesty, alleluia, is Gabriel Jesus is the anthem that all fans sing( even if it displeases his mother, who is a very religious person ).

But even if he includes the Brazilian deed to his Olympic medal, he will not get too carried away. I try to manage my progress in a down-to-earth fad, he remarks. Some musicians win a trophy and think that they are on top of the world. I dont let it go to my front. People idolise me for prevailing the Olympics but I continue pronouncing: It is just a medal.

Arguably the biggest challenge lies ahead forcing his path into Citys starting XI. All this change does not scare me at all, he alleges. My life has always been full of challenges. Clearly this is a bigger one, but the best duels are given to the best fighters. I will listen to the managers belief and his advice in order to improve and adapt as fast as I maybe can.

Here are the Confederate monuments that will be removed after Charlottesville

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( CNN) More than 150 times after the Civil War purposed, the Confederacy is memorialized with statues, shrines and historic markers across the United States.

A nationwide debate circumventing the above issues has been underway since Dylann Roof killed nine African-Americans in a Charleston, South Carolina, church in 2015 in an attempt to “start a race conflict.” And it flared up again after grey nationalists rallied last weekend to protest the removal of a Robert E. Lee statue in Charlottesville, Virginia, where a counterprotester was killed amid brutal confrontations between demonstrators.

The National Register of Historic Places does not save a detailed list of Confederate tributes. In 2016, the Southern Poverty Law Center distinguished 1,503 Confederate “place names and other emblems in public spaces” across the nation but acknowledged such studies was “far from comprehensive.” Some Civil War shrines in the South, such as at battlegrounds, do not have pro-Confederate symbolism.

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It’s a Monday morning in summer. You’re tired AF, but you have to hop on the train for your commute to work.

As you make your way onto the train realizing the only spot for you is conveniently sandwiched between two pairs of people you sigh.

There’s nothing worse than being stuckon this overcrowded, overheated train.

But oh, my friend, there is something worse. There is.

As you turn around, sweat dripping down your forehead (which, by the way, is also pounding from a HELLISHmigraine because you haven’t had your Starbucks yet), you find yourself up-close-and-personal with a couple making out, tongues wagging and all.

They’re so in your face, you can practically taste the girl’s lipstick. That’s definitely Kat Von D, you think.

What a morning. You haven’t even been awake for two hours, and you’ve already snaggeda front-row seat to a show called, “Let’s See Who Can Slobber Over Whom More.”

Look, I get it. That’s alwaysa lot to take in,especially at 8 a.m. in the damn morning. It’s downright unacceptable. And, no, you shouldn’t have to deal with it.

Now, of course, there are different levels of PDA. An innocent hand-hold, a waist-grab, a wipe off the corner of your SO’s mouth those are all fine.

What I’m talking about is the full-on make out session you wish you could unsee, but is unfortunately permanently ingrained in your memory.

Of all the public make out sessions I’ve ever seen, that wasone I’ll never forget.

First of all, I just don’t want to see that. Keep it in your pants, for Christ’s sake. That’s what home is for.

I often try to put myself in a couple’s shoes,only torealize that, no matter who I was dating in the past or how much I liked him, I always felt squeamishly uncomfortable doing things with him in public.

Second, it’s already known that couples who post lovey-dovey relationship statuses on Facebook are wildly insecure, so I can’t help but wonder that two people sucking face in my face are ruining my train ride because they’re insecure.

No, seriously. Sometimes, I notice the girl of the pair eyeing me down before she makes the executive decision to turn to her boyfriend and lick his whole face. (And no, I’m not a creep. I’m just hyperaware of my surroundings.)

Listen, homie. I don’t want your man, but I guess I’m flattered you consider me a threat.

Third, I need to remind all PDA-abusing couples of the world that the public space isn’t just your space to make out in. It’s our space, too.

And when I say “our,” I mean ussingle people of the world who don’t have anyone to slobber all over.Ourlives are hard enough.

Here’s the catch, though:I can nevernot look at PDA.

I don’t know what it is about it. It has some weird, mystical, magnetic power that makes everything in its radius gravitate toward it, but then immediately pull away.

It isn’t so much the people, themselves, who draw me in. It’s the making out part.It’s unnatural, but captivating.

It’s like seeing the aftermath of a car crash, watching a dog trying to walk on its hind legs, or sitting in a movie theater and covering your eyes at the scary parts (but low-key watchingthrough the gaps between your fingers).

Whatever. It’s not like I’m butt-hurt by the lives of those particular couples. I certainly donotwant any part of that kissingsesh.

I’m just asking for some common courtesy here. Someone’s got to stand up for the single people of the world. And, as usual, I’m willing to take the fall.

One day, when Sheena finally has a boyfriend (LOL, it feels weird to throw“Sheena” and “boyfriend” in the same sentence), she will exact sweet, sweet revenge on all the couples who made her already-sucky commute even suckier than it needed to be.

She will stick her tongue down her guy’sthroat. And it will be glorious.

Until then, I’ll take my coffee and commute without a side of slobber. Please and thank you.