1.* ClickClickClick*

” I had sex with a woman who had an artificial center valve that clicked audibly when her heart rate disappeared up. The clicking truly freaked me out .”

2. Roommate Likes To Watch

“‘ My roommate likes to watch.’

‘How weird could it be ?” Very.

I’m a guy, the roommate in question was a child. She just watched, I tried to make dialogue, but it is about to change she didn’t speak English. Both girls were from Beijing. Also broke her bunk. It was a creepy darknes .”

3. Creepy The First Few Times

” Absence seizures. I knew he had them, but it’s still a surprise to be in the middle of things, look down, and … ignites on but nobody home.

I stopped and awaited, when he came around we talked a little bit and eventually got back into it but it was fucking creepy the first few meters .”

4. Steel Layer And Screws

” Not certainly what I experienced but I wasn’t really prepared. I had an ex who had been in a bad car clang at one point and had layers and pins all in her pelvis. The scars weren’t bad but she was anything but flexible. She could pretty much move her legs forwards and backwards. Spreading them was pretty difficult. There been a great deal of doggy style .”

5. She Was A Ruler Of Understatement

“‘ I’m really tight.’

It was like trying to get a traffic cone into a wine bottle .”

6. Just A Small Scar

” My now husband said he had a small scar from his circumcision. It’s not tiny, and when I ascertained it I said,’ Wow, your mothers should have sued .’ Then I soon defended but he precisely laughed .”

7. She Didn’t Know What She Was Good At

” Said she was horrible at blow enterprises … Gave me one of the best jolt occupations of my entire life.

Said she was amazing at hand jobs … I sat paralyzed with a mixture of suffering and fright, as an otherwise lovely dame exposed God like traction persuasivenes and the Devil’s disregard for the health of a man’s dick .”

8. The Condom Shredder

” She told me she was’ tight’ by close-fisted she meant that no matter how much she tightened up she’d shred condoms like they were made out of tissue paper .”

9. Ouch

“‘ It is 8 inches and kinda thick.’

Sureeeeeeee it is

It was. I was in pain .”

10. The Confidence Crusher

” Girl I was dating apparently had no sexuality craving. First epoch she tells me, just tell me what way you want me is still in, do what you need to.

She would simply lie there. I reckoned I was a omission but she said that it was normal for her, she didnt like copulation at all. She didnt hate it, but she didnt seem to have an craving for it either.

Theres a Seinfeld episode where George goes through the same thing.

Suffice to say, it didn’t work out and my destroyed confidence was only restored eventually when a dude I knew who dated her later asked me about her strange sex stance .”

11. A Large Protuberance

” I had an ex who had a very large clit. And by very large I entail a macro clit. When we started used to go, she was very apprehensive about fooling around and going further than a little tit play. I told it slide for awhile, hoping she would eventually warm up enough to explore further. After about 2 months after we had goes reasonably worked up on the lounge, I slither my hands under her jeans top, she grabbed my hands and proceeded to cry and end our embracing. She proceeded to tell me she was a little different than some of the girls I had maybe been with. I pressed and she told me that she had a vey big clitoris. I recollect clearly a slight gumption of dismay and Of route I reassured her and eventually she relaxed and declined off her pants. We started leading at it again and she granted my hand to slip into her panties. Holy fuck, she wasn’t kidding, I prevented my equanimity but I could not speculate how huge of a clit I precisely moved across. And no it wasn’t a rooster. It was a perfectly structured elongated, swollen-headed clitoris. Very responsive and sensitive, but it took me a while to get use to administering such a large protuberance .”

12. Rup, The Screamer

” I had this buddy Rup who was a great guy. We had known each other for about a year when I hinted we fuck.

We were fooling around and he got me off a few meters and we were about to get at penetration.

He was just about to press into me when he stopped and said’ just so you are familiar with, I’m a screamer.’

That phrase turned me off instantaneously, at the exact minute he registered me. I soldiered on and took one for the team.

When he came, he fucking ROARED my first name in a chime that seemed like equal portions agony and rage.

It was the least sex stuff ever. I climbed out of my scalp every time someone said my name for like 5 days .”

13.” I Don’t Know How She Didn’t Look Like A Mummy Afterward”

” She alarmed me that she was a squirter. S’all good, been with squirters before.

This girl was more of a pressure washer than a squirter. Sometimes I’d represent her cum so much better that we would go through a laundry consignment of towels, it was ridiculous. I don’t know where the fuck it came from either, she barely drank anything. I don’t know how she didn’t look like a fucking mummy after squirting so much better .”

14. Her’ O’ Face

” Her o-face. Beautiful woman, but she was like Mick Jagger getting knocked in the seeds .”

15. Appalling Cleavage

” A girl I was with stopped before taking her bra off. She said’ now don’t be surprised, because I’ve had beings be reasonably dismayed before.’ Her boobs didn’t appear massive or tiny, but I she meant she was wearing a padded bra, and I was going to be “shocked” at how small they were.

I sickened at how big the latter are. My lip literally descended open. I have no theory how she substance all that boob in that bra, but dammit the latter are amazing. I should call her ….”

16. Lactation

” Iproduce too much prolactin so I lactate all the time even though I’ve never been pregnant. My first bf never said anything about getting it in his opening so I thought I didn’t induce enough for that so I didn’t think to warn anyone beforehand. The second person I was with was surprised by it and spit it out which really embarrassed me so i started to warn anyone I get with after him. Most people didn’t seem to care when I told them but when it actually came down to it various people were clearly not prepared for current realities of get in their opening. Merely a duet were grossed out though .”

17. A Double Surprise

” Had a ex who said she liked it rough … I went into her area made out, she opened a closet full of a cluster of leather gear and whips and series …. we resolved our relationship because she liked it rough with other guys .”

18. She Had A Gift

” My friend’s girlfriend’s older sister came to our college municipality to visit one weekend. Fast forward to post-bars, she’s travelling my fucking brains out in a way I had not experienced before. I represent this daughter had a gift. Near the end I’m trying to hold on to my little soldiers, when she moans,’ I hope you’re ready to sleep in a puddle .’ I thought to myself,’ I meditate wha-‘ and son was she not kidding about the puddle. Cutoff mid-thought to myself, I get drenched. So much that it splashed from my belly to my appearance and some on the wall behind my president. Being my first event, I was pretty shocked, especially with the 2.5 seconds of cautioning epoch I received.

Dated for about 8 months. Excellent sexuality ever. She had a gift, that’s for certain .”

19. Forgetting Control

” She said she’ loses restrain’ and I fantasized she was just wild.

No. I should have asked for clarification.

Where will you be when diarrhea makes ?”

20. Disney Tunes Make An Appearance

” She said she expressed the wish to humming during. Eh whatever. Fast forward to her buzz’ I’ll make a man out of you’ from Mulan with my dick in her opening .”

21. Dude Thinks He’s A Wolf

” About two summers ago I had started working at a new eatery around the same hour as this guy, let’s call him Jim. Jim was a great server and I had never gotten any red flags from hanging at the bar after displacements out with him, so when I heard from another coworker that he had gotten really drunk one darknes and expected’ If you are able kill, cook, and dine any one “were working with”, who are able it be ?’ I was pretty surprised. Everyone on all staff members various kinds of brushed it off as just drunken ranting so I decided to as well.

We went out drinking one nighttime and I invited him back to my residence to inhale a weaken and talk. One thing that we discussed was how he felt that his character animal was a wolf( he was half Native American so again, touched it off ). We eventually got too fucked up, one thing have all contributed to another and we culminated up naked in couch together. We started up and began getting into it, when he give away this deep growl. And I don’t only make a sensual low-pitched growl. I intend like from his nose, raucous SNARL, accompanied by a unpleasant scratching down my back by his nails. I liked the kid well enough I just thought it was a one time happening. No, this happened each time we had fornication following the firstly, eventually accompanied by him mentioning blood-letting, which was the sign for me to stop construe him out line-up of study .”

22. A Nascar Fan

” I dated a girl who had a full blow pic of Dale Earnhardt Jr, standing by his race car, tattooed on her lower back … She tried to explain it, but only intention up proving me because I couldn’t take her seriously … The tattoo itself wasn’t a treat breaker, but her paucity of a sense of humor about it was … How are lewd observations about nutting on Jr’s face not entertaining ?”

23. Someone Outside Started Clapping

“‘ I make a lot of noise.’

Holy fucking shit she wasn’t kidding, it was almost like in a porn. During her orgasm it was exactly like in a porn, so much better that( we were in an hotel) someone somewhere outside the area started clapping.

I would like to tell you that this was because of me, but she plainly hollered like a banshee during copulation .”

24. AClumsy

” She told me that she was a clumsy.

That was the biggest understatement ever. Never have I realise someone with such a level of clumsiness. She was a treading catastrophe. she fell out of bottom. Twice. She twitched so uncontrollably when she came that she punched me with her elbow in the appearance( If you’re wondering switch cowgirl ).”

25.” Momma Didn’t Conjure A Quitter”

” So this person and I gratified online and he came over to watch movies one night. We were texting the working day leading up to our movie nighttime and the topic of fornication came up. We were very comfortable with one another for not having “ve met before” in person and we both wanted to discuss our expectations for that night. We concurred if concepts were to go down it would be alright but also if nothing happened that was fine too.

We were almost done with our discussion and buster hurls in an’ oh btw I have a huge dick ‘. I shrugged it off because what 20 year old-fashioned guy online doesn’t have a’ huge’ dick?

Fast presented to movie darknes and we go to my chamber to bed. We are making out and things are getting heated. We both end up naked and out of the area of my eye I check his dick. IT WAS SO MASSIVE. The only accurate comparison I have been able to induce is that it’s the size of a Pringle can. I signify it caught my tending from my peripheral vision- that has to say something. Right ?!

Anyway my mouth must have thumped the floor because he starts tittering and says we don’t have to continue if I didn’t want to. I said I was fine trying and taking concepts gradually( momma didn’t promote a quitter ). I lasted about 15 seconds .”

26. She Wouldn’t Believe Him

” Opposite of this, was not believed.

‘I’m kinda big, and you’re kind of small-minded, sure this will work ?” Yeah only necessary lube.’

She had a copper implant. I touched her cervix( and embed) in four different positions in under 10 minutes before we observed a suitable orientation. Not merely did I experience her cervix, I seemed the embed , not fun.

It was on our areas and the second my hips touched tush I had to start plucking back in order to not smack it .”

27. The Watchful Gaze Of Our Lord Satan

” She asked if we could do it on the couch not in her area. I joked about having a chaotic area. she sad no its not messy. I joked do you have an alter to satan. Her sees get massive …’ Who told ?’ Long story short( too late !) she showed me her chamber, showed me her alter to the devil, got a beej, got to finger her, and get her to let me nut on her look, all under the watch full gaze of satan .”

28. Like Her Thighs Had Flames

” Before she took her gasps off she said’ I have to tell you, I haven’t scraped in a while.’

I was like’ it’s fine. Neither have I.’

I wasn’t prepared for so much hair.

When we were done, it looked like her thighs had kindles .”

29. NSFL, Maybe hop-skip this one

” She told me not to go down on her because she had’ razor blaze’ from scraping. I figured, meh, a duet red lumps, nbd. I should have listened. Every single follicle was a grey pustule, some were scabby, some had clearly popped while we were going into it and were seeping liquor. It was like her entire pubic embankment was covered in the worst acne you could imagine. The believed to be one of those popping in my opening induced me gag .”

30. He Misunderstood

She told me that she likes to play rough and I anticipated she meant that she wanted to be rough. Needless to say half way through copulation she turns me on my back and strangles me to the point where I’m about to pass out, my adams apple practically popped out of my opening … appeared certainly out of place after that.

31. Long Story Short, She Got Pregnant

” Friend of the guy I was interested in tells me a tale about how him and his other friends plucked my future bf’s trunks down. He said it was literally the smaller dick they had ever seen. I contemplated, okay whatever. One nighttime, concepts get steamy and he sets a condom on. Next circumstance I know, he’s inside me. Absolutely don’t feel a thing. But hey I still liked him. I tried so hard to make it tight for him but it was nearly impossible. I repute I strained something. He gets done and goes to clean up. Can’t find the condom. It had stolen off and was inside of me. Yep. Got pregnant. Had his son. We are not together but my poor son will no doubt got his dad’s peculiarities down there. I feel so sorry for him .”

32. Narcolepsy

” Nothing boosts the old-time ego like ogling down and she’s passed out cold. Even snoring.

She told me it might happen, but I wasn’t prepared.

It didn’t work out. And that’s a shame because she was merriment( when she was awake ).”

33. Female Submissive Babygirl

” He did tell me he is quite subservient but I didn’t expect him to be male version of vulnerable female subservient babygirl with daddy questions. He fails erection when he tries to dominate/ manhandle. 🙁

And he did alert me he had been able to sobbing but now exclaims every second occasion if orgasm is a bit harder .”

34. If she says you don’t need a condom then you emphatically requirement a condom

” I had a girl tell me that I could do anything I required basically as long as I didn’t wear a condom because she said’ I will fucking kill you if you wear a condom’ well fast forward some time I got chlamydia and so did my best friend who had apparently been told the same occasion so the important thing to take away from this is that it’s not always best available idea to pick low-grade hanging return .”

35. She Like To Bite…A Lot

” I was informed she likes to burn … no biggie, I can handle it pretty rough , not full on s& m but a bit suffering can be jolly hot. Endorphins were a flowing/ I was sucked as inferno. I went home that night and I went up the next day and walked outta my room with my shirt off. My roommate looked up and got to go’ WTF happened today ?!’ I went over to the reflect and counted 37 gnaw recognizes all over my chest neck and forearms. They stuck around for various weeks. 7/5 would do it again .”


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