I am a huge love of Calvin Harris. Each morning, I wake up and religiously watch his Snapchats before I watch anyone else’s( even the guy I have a crush on ).

Lately, though, my boy Cal has been posting unbelievably cryptic, “motivational” communications.( “Motivational” is in breath repeats because these pronunciations are anything BUT motivational .) They truly precisely move me happy for him and perfectly sallow at Taylor because she surely violated his nerve to the point of no return.

Friends, the man have undoubtedly lost it. Cryptic Calvinhas travelled INSANE.

Here are my interpretationsof his cryptic Snapchats.

This morning, he posted a “speech” snap where all you see is a fan, and then the word, “Go all the way” 😛 TAGEND

What does “go all the way” represent ?! Go all the way in life? Your occupation? Relationships?

My good guess is, he’s alluding to the idea Taylor didn’t give their relationship her “all.” I necessitate, she must not have because she moved on WAY extremely SWIFT-ly, and you don’t move on that swiftly from something you gave your “all” to.

So, in order to make sure the relationship doesn’t fall flat like theirs did, you simply have to give 110 percentage effort.

After that cracking, he posted one of JUST the love with no motivational message 😛 TAGEND

Creepy as blaze, Cal. Creepy as HELL.

Now, as for what this entails: First off, what is a fan?

Fan( noun ): an apparatus with revolving blades that creates a current of air for cooling or ventilation.

OK, that doesn’t make sense. Perhaps the verb chassis will precede us somewhere 😛 TAGEND

Fan( verb ): toincrease the strength of( a shoot) by blowing on it or stirring up the air near it.

WAIT, OK. Could it be that Calvin is portending his plan to stir up some fus by calling out T-Swizzy on her shady decision to break up with him for Tom What’s-His-Face?

A Brief Timeline Of Taylor and Calvin’s Romance

March 2015: Taylor and Calvin start dating, and the world( me) wallows March 2016: Taylor poles those now-nonexistent-yet-epic photos of her and Calvin onvacation together May 2016: Taylor supposedly dropped Calvin after his gondola gate-crash because he wasn’t imparting her the attention she required( uh, ok) June 2016: Calvin unfollows Taylor on Instagram and they both remove the pics they have together. He also stymie Swifties on Twitter( WTF ?) because photos of Taylor and Tom Hiddleston begin to skin-deep Sometime after that: Calvin starts posting funny selfies, road rage videos and “motivational” discussions on Snapchat, and my life abruptly grows worth living.


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