This season of has is becoming more disappointing than my last-place five Bumble years, and the bar was prepared fairly fucking low-grade for both of those acts. I mean, we have this beautiful, talented, driven woman and ABC hands her Whaboom and a prejudiced as potential suitors. Between that and the eyelash increases that look like theyre two seconds from taking flight off Rachels face, its been a really tough season to follow. That remarked, there are a few gems in this seasons dumpster flaming of a throw. Theres Eric, who is v handsome and whose scarf collection consider this to be its probs worth more than my payment. Theres Peter who’s fraction silver-tongued fox, constituent commitmentphobe fuckboy who grinded on Rachel one time in a hot tub so she thinks its enjoy. Then we have fucking Bryan. The 37 -year-old chiropractor whose project of a hot appointment is driving an expensive vehicle and startling the spectators back home with his anaconda-style PDA abilities. He somehow got the first impression rose in spite of the fact that “hes having” the personality of soaking cement, but its 2017. Wilder shit has happened. Tbh my favorite character about Bryan is that Peter and the internet are persuasion “hes having” neck implants and I am so here for that rumor.

Last week during the Fantasy Suites occurrence that lacked any actual footage from the imagination suiteABC, youre on my listPeter accused Bryan of having phony necks and it was the burn listen round “the worlds”. In subject you forgot that casual chitchat missile he sagged, here are his precise messages: Hes got his confident Miami swagger. But in Miami theres a lot of phony boob, imitation ass, and fake cheek. AND FAKE CHEEKS.

PETER :* casually alleges Bryan of having imitation cheeks*

ME TO MY EMPTY LIVING ROOM:

Okay, but aside from that represent one magnificent rumor is there any actual true to it? Like, what even are cheek embeds? Surprisingly theres not tons of data concerning the methods used out there. Perhaps because people prefer not to look like adult chipmunks. Shocking, I know.

Face fillers( aka chipmunk face) and face-lifts were the standard procedure for cheek augmentation until recently when cheek implants became the new it concept. Cheek implants are favourite because is not simply does the procedure permanently change your facial organization but it also takes 10 years off their own lives. The implants are made of silicone or porous polyethylene and gaze natural AF. Plus theres no scarring and health risks are minimal. Hmmm seems 100 percent like something, pronounce, an older gentlemen going on world Tv for the first time in 10 -plus years would do before trying his hand again at Flat Tummy Tea modeling enjoy on national television.

And because Im far very are used in the living conditions of fame whores rivals, what better practice to spend my precious free time than to rub the internet using evidence of Bryans cheek embeds? Writing that sentence just now shapes me realize that my parents must be v proud of what my college education has paid for.* Adds hard-hitting journalism to resume* Whatever. Ive went wine and a search enginelets represent some shit happen, beings. Makes take a look at the evidence, shall we?

1. Hes From Miami

Though Im inclined made in accordance with Peter on this one, I guess not every person from Miami has forgery body parts. That mentioned, Miami is the number one city in the WORLD for reconstructive surgery and a recent investigation through the American Society of Plastic Surgeons found that Miami has a whopping 18 plastic surgeons for every 100,000 tenants over 18. And I would bet my brunch reservations that one of those 100,000 inhabitants is Bryan The Chiropractor.

2. Hes Old AF

As Ive mentioned before, Bryan is 37 which is practically ancient by Bachelor guidelines. Plus he has to compete with Dean who is perfect and should call me 12 years younger and has the surface of a Neutrogena model so I guess Bry Guy requirement some sort of whip hand here. I represent, parties usually get cheek embeds in the first place because theyre getting old-fashioned AF and their cheekbones are losing magnitude, effecting their surface and muscle has begun to sliding and sag.* chills* And Bryan surely wasnt going to win over any Instagram promotions Rachels heart with a saggy AF face.

3. He Could Probs Afford It

The standard implant surgery scopes from $5,000 to $10,000 and any sort of personalization can tack on an additional$ 5K. And my greatest splurge this summer was expending $20 to have a grilled cheese provided with my doorway. Rich parties are crazy. But Bryan is absolutely rendered this shit. Hes a chiropractor which is technically a doctor I recollect. Regardless, while Im over here arguing with Miguel from the bodega next door about why he refuses to give me altered in parts so I can do laundry and stop dressing like a homeless person for piece, Bryans becoming $150 k a year easy. Candidly, he could probs afford to buy himself a brand-new look and have unlimited sums of grilled cheeses delivered to his doorway. You know, premising he hasnt cut off dairy and carbs from his food.

Yeah, he totally fucking has.

4. His Reality TV Headshots

Perhaps the most damning article of proof are his headshots from 13 years ago when he first whored himself out for Tv ratings ran looking for love on world Tv. Bryan was on a reality dating demonstrate called where he vied with a bunch of other South Beach douchebags to win dates with models. OMG dames, are you not soggy with their chances of those admirers ?? Aside from seeing me want to vomiting, his face from s intro 13 years ago examines DRASTICALLY different from the face he has now.

Were not even going to touch on the amount of “hairs-breadth” gel and Axe body spray that went into the hit of this photo because honestly I’m stunned South Beach didn’t have a shortage back in 2004. The cheek, though, are CLEARLY different. And just in case you need a side-by-side likenes 😛 TAGEND

I meannn….

Im sure Bryan will likely defend this photo by saying its grainy AF or there was bad lighting, which is the excuse any teenager with a respectable Instagram following uses, but shits not rowing up for me. I suppose the photo testify communicate for itself here. Sorry, Bry.

Final Verdict : He totally has neck embeds and I stand by that rumor Im spreading. YOURE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, BRY GUY. Case closed.