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Severe cold snap in US northeast blamed for fatal 50 -vehicle pile-up

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Three parties reported to have died in the multiple gondola crash which took place on icy streets in Pennsylvania following a snowstorm

A dangerous cold snap in the US northeast has been is the responsibility of inducing a fatal pile-up of dozens of vehicles on a Pennsylvania highway.

Officials had warned people to stay indoors away from what the National Weather Service described as life threatening cold. Wind cold advisories were in effect over specific areas of nine territories spreading from north Pennsylvania to western Maine, with forecasters expecting gales up to 45 miles an hour( 72 kph ).

While the gust was not fetching much snow to field, a squall outside Harrisburg, Pennsylvania triggered a pileup of more than 50 automobiles and trucks, slamming an interstate highway, state police said. Multiple people died in the incident, the Pennsylvania Emergency Management Agency said on its website.

The agency did not say how many beings had died and a spokesperson had not been able be reached for immediate observation but reports intimated three beings had been killed .

Officials warned that the coldnes would intensify through the working day and into Sunday.

Wind colds will be getting colder and colder as the working day goes on, said Alan Dunham, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Taunton, Massachusetts.

The temperature in Boston was expected to fell to – 21 C( -7F) but experience as cold as – 34 C( -3 0F) with the wind chill.

New York City was poising for its coldest darknes in 20 years. Mayor Bill de Blasio said officers had put one over additional staff to help residents who had lost heat.

Its so important to take this seriously, to stay indoors to the maximum extent possible, de Blasio said.

Some

Some 50 vehicles were involved in the lethal gate-crash. Image: Daniel Zampogna/ AP

At Bostons Pine Street Inn 485 -bed homeless shelter, craftsmen were locating cots, mattings and even chairs to alter the roughly 600 people they were expecting tonight, said spokesman Barbara Trevisan.

No one will be turned out for lack of cavity, Trevisan said.
In Boston, some hurried through their mornings to get outdoor errands done before the worst cold set in.

Right now Im going to suck a coffee to abide heated, said Carmen Pichente, 40, on the way to her activity at a Boston restaurant. Tomorrow, Im going to stay at home the working day.

Others brushed it off.

Its nothing. I lived in Boston all my life, said Eddie Brown, 51, a delivery truck driver out on his rounds. Questioned why he wasnt wearing a hair, Brown replied, I get long underwear on.

Princess Diana’s preserves on failed marriage to breeze on UK television

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A British television channel is broadcasting a brand-new film on Princess Diana exploiting video videotapes in which she candidly examined her marriage both problems and her strained relationship with the royal family.

The records of Diana speaking to her spokesperson manager in the early 1990 s included her description of how Queen Elizabeth II reacted when she asked for admonition about her failing wedlock. She said the queen informed her: “I don’t know what you should do.”

Diana likewise talked about descending “deeply in love” with a soul widely believed to be her protection officer, Barry Mannakee.

Excerpts of the recordings were aired in the U.S. in 2004 but they have never been screened in Britain. The documentary airs Aug. 6 on Channel 4.

Diana died in a Paris car crash on Aug. 31, 1997.

Poor, capable and amusing: the revert of Roseanne, the sitcom that break-dance all the rules

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Why the income of the feminist, body-positive, working-class show is welcome in the era of austerity and aspirational TV

We are Americas worst nightmare, Roseanne Barr said, at the height of her prestige. Were white garbage with money.

It was true that the sundry express of moral America, from Tv critics to tabloid writers, did what they could to clip Roseannes backstages. Her on-set assertiveness( rifts with scribes, effing and jeffing) was discussed in a tone of pearl-clutching scandalize that went on for years. Her failed first marriage was taken as proof of an age-old story: the social climber who ditches her loved ones once she gets what she craves. All the mud fixed: at the time, her public image is the question of a difficult person. It didnt making such a dent on her sitcoms notoriety. For its first two seasons( in 1989 and 1990 ), Roseanne was the most-watched show in the US.

What was extraordinary about Roseanne is that it was allowed on TV at all. Laurie Metcalf, who played Roseannes sister Jackie, said subsequentlies: Before[ Roseanne ], it was beings walking around in expensive sweaters. I dont remember beings ever looking as realistic as our shed did.

When had lily-white scum ever been allowed on television? Not as a reality Tv vehicle accident; not as the feral grist to a police-show mill; not as the carnivalesque backdrop to a dystopia, but as real beings, making their own laughs, describing their own world?

In the very first episode, the oldest daughter Becky starts rifling through the cupboards for a meat drive at her academy, and Roseanne says, Tell them to drive some of that meat over here. Sometimes you can only watch the inhibition where reference is infringes: respectable parties are not is expected to be skint; neat households are not supposed to ever think about fund, the space heroes of novels never have places. Having to bicker with your boss and have your fee docked, to get to a find at your girls academy? This stuff didnt happens to respectable sitcom lineages before Roseanne, and it hasnt really happened since.

Watch the teaser for the new season of Roseanne.

Minimum wage back then used to buy a reasonable life if you werent an improbably shiftless, feckless party, said Linda Tirado, generator of Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America, an writer who separated an extraordinary culture stillnes in 2013, when she objection the idea that, in the US, people are poverty-stricken because they become bad decisions. The cultural environment has changed because the financial one has. Since payment stagnation has reached the condition of poverty so much harder, it is no longer can then be exactly happenstance, a fact of life; someone has to be at fault, otherwise “it wouldve been” unjust.

Put plainly, you are still allowed to be poor on Tv, they are able to even be poor and likable, so long because you are demonstrably useless. Youre only not allowed to be poor, capable and funny. That was the holy trinity that Roseanne exemplified, able to taunt her own weaknesses because of her evident fortitudes. Yet clearly TV craves that house back: hence its return in the US( a new serial is planned for 2018) and why “theres been” several attempts to create something similar for the UK.

A producer, who wanted to remain anonymous, was making last year on a British version of Roseanne for ITV. There are so few blue-collar voices on TV, we settled on Roseanne as a perfect template, because it was so out-there, they told the Guide. Ours was a woman in Northern Ireland, trying to juggle her minors and wreaking as a cashier. But its very difficult to get this stuff away in Britain, because theres a sense that we have soaps to do that for us. The soaps do the working classes and the other drama does everything else. Theres a observe you often get when youre developing dialogues: Thats a bit soapy. Its used as a disparage term.

Nobody says what it intends, but everybody knows. Then theres the idea that people want to watch aspirational telly like The Replacement and Apple Tree Yard, our insider sustained. Glamorous women who live in neat homes. Then theres the Kes habit, the privation you expect in British film that you wont abide from British TV.

Roseanne
Girls aloud … Roseanne stars Natalie West, Roseanne Barr and Laurie Metcalf. Picture: ABC/ Getty

When you create a family that they are able inhabit and talk about class in a new way, you realise how much else this allows in: Roseannes inventors were always clearly articulated, that they didnt has only one agenda. It was never about: Makes break ground! because thats the various kinds of thought process that returns up bullshit, invented stories, said Amy Sherman-Palladino, a staff columnist on the third series, who went on to write Gilmore Girls. I think that was the real amazing thing about it. Saving true-life to those references and true to life was everything.

The obvious risque fact was all the doses: A Cache from the Past, in series six, has Roseanne announcing out some girl because she encounters smoke in their room, exclusively to remember its hers, and then inhaled it. That wouldnt fit in to a flawed-but-caring parent narrative by todays more prudish expressions. Yet I procured the less headline-grabbing details on child-rearing more telling.

To go back to that fulfill at Darlenes school, which Roseanne has to be carried out of work for, a priggish record schoolteacher tells her that her daughter barks like a puppy in class, and generalizes a problem with the friendlines of its relations. Id say its typical , Roseanne replies.

Typical , not special ? Do you expend any free time with Darlene?

I work and have three minors. I have no free time.

The dogmata that have built up around parenting broadly speaking, that to have any distress you are able to throw ahead of your children amounts to a subtle but important disuse have totally stripped the slapstick out of that scenario; the middle-class do-gooder fulfilling the tough-minded realist.

Indeed, the domestic terrain seemed to have been spate by right-mindedness, so that there is still conflicts TV duos is not able to have. Roseanne and her husband Dan( John Goodman) invest an incredible sum of time screaming at one another about, literally, kitchen drops, because theyre extremely soapy. There are also dilemmas that reputations can no longer have, since they are dont adhere to the new absolutism around children( flawed-but-caring is no longer a maternal trope: leaders can still sometimes get off with it ). Consequently, true to life is quite hard to pull off , now.

Yet the swerve is more complicated than a simple upsurge in social conservatism. Small items from Roseannes real life be pointed out that the decades in which she found her expression were far more openly sexist. Her first partner, Bill Pentland, was interviewed for the near-feature-length E! True Hollywood Story about Barr, and innocently “re coming out” with this story. Roseannes sister came to stay with them, having taken up progressive feminism. The first thing, he remembered, was a refusal to scrape her forearms or her legs. I said, As long as youre remain in my house, I dont have to listen to this BS. Her second husband, Tom Arnold, was the more notoriously restraining, but a spouse who thinks he can legislate on your sisters mass mane because he pays half the mortgage

It was quite a different world, one that arguably required a lot more of Roseannes feminism and instead got the more middle-class creed of equality through self-actualisation.

This preoccupied Barr at the time. Ive ever appeared, she said in her early busines, that working-class maidens are the ones whove been left out and the ones who the free movement of persons really is about. Tirado notes: In expressions of gender issues in America, were suffering from the same pushback against progress that everybody else is. Have we making such a real progress? We led the pony to water. We didnt actually change any minds.

Then there was that realistic illusion, the word pundits use to call beings fat. Danny Jacobson, one of the indicates producers, distilled the dangers of their early dialogue meets: Whos going to want to watch these people, whos going to care about a dirty sofa with large-hearted parties making a lot of dirty jokes?

Goodman
Keep off the grass … John Goodman and Roseanne Barr in Stash from the Past( 1993 ). Photograph: ABC/ Getty

This was in the 1990 s; previously, merely representations had to be model-skinny; unexpectedly, everybody did. Excess weight was a sign of strong attribute, or passivity. Why would a person like that be good at anything?

You are still allowed to be fatty on TV, certainly, you are positively welcomed, should a romantic lead or a policeman want a slow-witted crony. But you wouldnt get a line like Roseannes when Jackie admonishes her to get Dan in a good humor before she tells him something.( Jackie, I scarcely have the time to get Dan all liquored up, have sex with him and clear smores ). You wouldnt enable them to be sex; you wouldnt be allowed to be not on a food; you shouldnt enabling your spouse in his seek of empty calories. This new norm that you are unable be fallible if you are in constant combat with your imperfection loops back to the triumph take over privation, that it can only be the result of some shortcoming in the person or persons living it.

The taste for aspirational drama is very often pinned on gatherings; tangentially, on financials, on the basis that observers in recedings want to watch beautiful people in nice residences, to escape their own privation. There is also, as screenwriter Sally Wainwright has told us, ever going to be an authenticity breach with programs about poor people written by millionaires, with a kind of nostalgic view that its jolly and recreation live their lives the human rights council property, rather than consider the truth of having to live like that and have no choice.

This is a more systemic rationale: that difference slams down opening, so TV initiation is gradually made exclusively by the midriff and upper classes, and a whole onu of narrations will no longer be told.

Yet I wonder whether the root cause isnt deeper still; that political imagery and metaphor relies so heavily on privation as a personal moral failure that a realistic and resonant image of a good clas, in which they are no stupider or lazier than anybody else, presents an affront.

The return of Roseanne might be bigger than nostalgia, then: it might be the start of a fightback.

Nick Jonas Lowered His “Find You” Music Video& We’re All Freaking Out

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OMG, you guys. Today is already a great day. Nick Jonas’ “Find You” music video is eventually here, and it’s really, really good. Nick Jonas, the international humankind of sex, is always remarkable us with brand new music, and this time it’s something totally, perfectly classy. Jonas’ brand-new anthem, “Find You, ” is the sort of gentle tune to get you in the mood to dance on the beach with a knot of attractive strangers. Jonas does that in the music video, and it is truly invigorating for me. Can I do that? Is that what a beach day with Jonas is like? If so, sign me up.

Jonas descended “Find You” on Sept. 14, 2017, and the entire world started bobbing their chiefs. We know where to find you, Nick Jonas. You can find him on the radio until eternally because this song is catchy AF, y’all. So what does this music video actually entail? Who is it about, and why is he driving an expensive vehicle so close to the water? Watch out, buster! One of the texts says, “I look for you in the center of the sun.” I have no clue what who are able to aim, but do not look instantly at the sun, parties. It’s not worth it to exclusively find a riddle daughter that prevents disguising from you. No way.

This is Jonas’ second song to come out this summer, and we aren’t mad about it. The psalm, “Remember I Told You” was the catchy chant released after May. It peculiarity Mike Posner and Anne Marie, and it showcased Jonas’ sultry voice. Mama like. Both songs are completely different, but these are sensual.

One thing is for certain, Jonas knows how to connect with his devotees. In October of 2016, he told

Heartbreak is a topic that a lot of people relate to — the challenges of the next steps in their own lives, and when some entrances close, and how you approach the next ones opening … I witnessed pretty quickly that it was a lot of what my fans could relate to. It’s nerve-wracking when[ the thinks] are as personal as the ones that I shared were. But I seem allayed when I use my writing as a direction to treat — it’s exceedingly therapeutic.

Jonas is getting deep, and I like it.

Here are more melodics to deeply analyze 😛 TAGEND

I took a pill but it didn’t help me numb
I see your face even when my attentions are shut
But I never really know where to find you

I taste the words that keep falling out your mouth
If I could love you I would never put you down
But I never actually know where to find you

Where to find you
Where to find you
But I never genuinely know where to find you
Try, try, try
Try, try, try
Try, try, try
But I never actually know where to find you

I’m guessing, based on the music video, Jonas is stumbling through a sweltering, steamy desert all alone, and finally notices the beautiful California coast. Although one would assume the first stop would be immediately into the monstrous body of water, Jonas instead dances with all the beautiful women working in the beach. Hey, we all have our priorities. Is he looking for that special maiden he lost long ago? Is he searching for himself? Oh, Jonas. You are a mysterious man.

At the end of the video, Jonas jump-start into a Lyft on the beach and leaves. Yes, he gets into a freakin’ Lyft. I couldn’t think it is either, but it happened. Does that have meaning, or is it clever make placement? Possibly a little of both, frankly. Although Jonas never seems to find who he’s go looking for, the music video is a yummy treat.

Now, let’s all get out there and shake our hips to this sexy little song and find our inner dance! Afterall, we’re all looking for something.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire Tv .

8-Yr-Olds Dad Dies in Tragic Accident1 0 Days Afterward, He Checks Mom Choking and REFUSES to Lose Her Too

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For Michael OBrien, April of 2017 has been the hardest time of his short life. The 8-year-old from Middleboro, Massachusetts, tragically lost his father in a vehicle gate-crash on April 16.

Then, on April 26 precisely 10 days after his dad diedMichaels mommy, Marie, embarked strangling in front of him, and she couldnt communicate or breathe.


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I said, Please, God, don’t let me die in front of this teenager. He’s already been through so much, Marie said of the accident.

She had been talking with Michael on the sofa before institution when the muffin she was devouring grew lodged in her throat.

Thanks to his learn as a boy scout, Michael knew just what to do.

I supposed, Dont panic or mommas going to get scared. I comprised it together and it operated, Michael interpreted. I cant “losing ones”. I already lost my dad .

The second grader calmly called 911, told the dispatcher their address and his mothers cell phone number, then stood on the line and reported her symptoms.

Michael says that Boy Scouts educated him to always be aware of whats happening around you. If someones suffering, you stay calm and call 911.

His poise and maturity in a situation that would scare even the most able adults is totally admirable. And to think he was able to remain calm and entrusted with responsibilities for the situation the way he did, just days after losing his fatherits unbelievable.

Marie says that her son saved her life, and though hes “ve been through” a lot, he was even be permitted to prank about it that same morning when she fell him off at school. He said, Mom , no eating for the rest of the working day. No one will be home to save you, Marie laughs.

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It just goes to show that God doesnt discriminate by age. He furnished Michael with the knowledge and ability to help his mother and save her from a potentially deadlysituation. Kudos to this brave young son!

2 Dogs, Left Alone In A Car, Crash It Into A West Virginia Walmart

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When a rolled vehicle bumped into a Walmart in Wayne, West Virginia, on Friday, evidences possibly didn’t expect to find man’s best friend behind the rotation.

The owner of the car says she left her two hounds in the vehicle while “shes gone” browse. She left the car running in order to keep the pups cool, WSAZ reports.

Big mistake! The dogs altered the car out of park and took a little joyride.

Confused buyers watched as the slow-moving vehicle crashed with the building.

The incident is yet another lesson in why it’s a bad impression to leave your dog in a red-hot automobile, even if the air conditioning is on.

Witnesses said the car owner appeared to be in her late 70 s, according to WSAZ. The terminal reported that the dogs were fine and that both the car and the building held only minor damage.

Luckily, the dogs, the car and the building were all more or less unharmed.

Now, if the dogs do decide to take another shot at driving, perhaps they should first trip New Zealand, where a very talented duo of canines completed a driving measure in 2012 on live TV.

These West Virginia hounds could hear a situation or two about checking your blind spot and making a left turn.

Youre 8 Years Old. Can You Acquire Wine Without Getting Arrested?

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Hello. You’re one of these 8-year-olds.

What is wine?

Wine is the red thunder. Wine is the fermented soap that cleans the soul. Wine is the whiskey. Wine is the greatness of the grapes. Wine is the sweet, sour coal that fuels the fire of your mind. Wine is the good dream come to life. Wine is the nightmare put to sleep. Wine is the blood of a teenager named God. Wine is the candy that can’t be put into a Halloween bag. Wine is the toothbrush of the soul’s mangled teeth. Wine is the straw that stirs the wine. Wine is the medicine that cures the bug bites. Wine is the seatbelt. Wine is the driver. Wine is the car. Wine is the speed limit. Wine is the car that is breaking the speed limit. Wine is the cop that pulls the car breaking the speed limit over. Wine is the bribe that gets the cop to let you off with a warning. Wine is the thing you get when you arrive, and wine is the thing you get when you leave. Wine is the soul, and wine is the car.

Wine is good, and it doesn’t taste half bad either.

Make sense?

Good.

Anyway, it sounds like you’re obsessed with wine! And who could blame you? Every 8-year-old’s favorite athlete, The Greatest Male Sledder In The World, was recently in a commercial for basketball and drank wine throughout it, and now there’s a nation of children just like you who desperately want to drink it.

It sounds like you’re obsessed with wine! And who could blame you? Every 8-year-old’s favorite athlete, The Greatest Male Sledder In The World, was recently in a commercial for basketball and drank wine throughout it, and now there’s a nation of children just like you who desperately want to drink it.

“Hello, and you are 8 years old!” exclaim your parents, who have invited one friend over for lunch. “Is there anything we can assist you with today?”

“Do not do sign language at us,” say your parents and their one friend.

“Absolutely not!” exclaim your parents and their one friend. “It is illegal for anyone under 16 to have wine. That’s just the law, as written by the presidents in their historic 1879 tirade, The Brochure Of Laws And Flavors Concerning The Grand Island Of America.”

You sit in your room for eight long years, and then, one day, it’s your 16th birthday. You’re hungry, thirsty, and sleep-deprived, and as you walk downstairs, you realize that your parents and their one friend are long dead. As you walk around your house, you see that in your lightbulb room is a bottle of wine, which you are finally old enough to drink! Yes!

You acquired wine without getting arrested, but then again, you weren’t 8 years old when you did it.

It looks like you lose.

“Oh, is that true?” exclaim your parents and their one friend. “That’s interesting. Well, we guess that if you just smelled the wine, it couldn’t hurt. But to be safe, don’t tell a cop or a member of the secret police. Thanks!”

Your parents and their one friend present so much wine for you to smell.

“Where did you learn that type of language, and is that true?” exclaim your parents and their one friend. “That’s interesting. Well, we guess that if you just smelled the wine, it couldn’t hurt. But to be safe, don’t tell a cop or a member of the secret police. Thanks!”

Your parents and their one friend present so much wine for you to smell.

You smell so much wine.

“Well, what do you think of the smell of wine?” they ask. “It smells scalding hot because we were drinking scalding hot wine. Sometimes you just do things like that.”

It’s the best thing you’ve ever smelled in your life. It’s easy to see why your favorite athlete shoots it at his body, and it’s also easy to see why the presidents don’t want people under 16 to drink it, because even with just one huge whiff, you begin to think about a man shooting a different man who’s swimming in a lake. But that last thing doesn’t matter as much as the first.

Yeah. You definitely need to drink wine.

“Sorry, kid, no can do. It’s just so illegal. We probably shouldn’t have even let you smell wine in the first place. Your eyes are in the back of your head and everything. It’s really gross and weird. Why don’t you go outside for a while? We’re just going to do boring adult stuff like stare at each other until nighttime. You probably aren’t interested in anything like that.”

“Go outside.”

You’re outside now, and you’re 8 years old still. Normally, you’d just eat some dirt or drink some river water, but not today.

Wine is all your 8-year-old mind can think about. Even just one whiff has got you completely obsessed, and you can’t even take a second to think about your favorite thing, a home run. It’s all wine all the time in that 8-year-old head, and you just have to acquire some to drink.

But…you heard what your five parents and their one friend said. It’s completely illegal for someone your age to acquire wine. You could get arrested by the cops or the secret police, something that would look terrible on a job application.

So you have a choice to make: Do you, the 8-year-old, accept and acknowledge the inherent risk associated with attempting to acquire wine and go for it, or do you not do that and go drink some river water instead?

Okay! So you are willing to risk it all for wine. Cool.

Of course, you can’t just go into a wine store and buy wine. You’ll get arrested right away. The leader of the wine store will say something like, “Here is your wine. Also, you are 8 years old, so give me that wine back. Goodnight.” That won’t do.

So, how do you want to go about acquiring wine? Again, it should be done in such a way that avoids arrest.

A fake ID! Certainly the coolest way to try to acquire wine as a minor.

Here’s the home of the guy who makes the fake IDs in your town.

You open the door, and this is the first thing you see.

“Hello! Do not come any further, and also say ‘cheese’ right now.”

“Do not do sign language at me.”

“Here you go,” says the man behind the curtain.

He hands you this, which clearly won’t do.

“That’s the ID I give to everyone. Most of the time, it works, and that’s why my house is so big and why I have this curtain. Sorry it didn’t work out, and please leave!”

Great. Now what?

You decide to drink river water for the rest of the day instead of trying to acquire wine. Enjoy!

Good idea! If someone of legal drinking age acquires wine for you, it slightly diminishes the chance that you’ll get arrested.

Now, you need someone who doesn’t care that they’re providing wine to a minor. It isn’t a crime, but it can still get them sent to jail. For example, your five parents and their one friend are in jail now, and all they did was let you smell wine. They’ll be there for quite some time unless they escape.

So, you’ll need to find someone who doesn’t care about all of that. In other words, you’ll need a badass—someone your parents and their one friend have said “Don’t go near that kid; he’s a real cool badass” about.

Yep.

There’s only one person in town who fits that description.

“Do not do sign language at me,” yells Durango from inside his house.

Durango.

It’s gotta be Durango.

It’s Durango.

Introducing…Durango.

Here are the three facts about Durango: He only has a middle name, he doesn’t go to school because he thinks “books are only for people who know how to read,” and he was thrown out of the U.S. Army at age 15 for trying to kick someone.

Durango is the type of human being who makes God say things like, “Ah, shit,” because of how cool he is. If anyone is going to get you wine, it’s him.

You kill Durango, and you’re arrested and sent to jail. Even though Durango was a badass and people are fairly happy that he no longer exists, you can’t just go around killing people. There are consequences. And jail is…The Ultimate Consequence.

Oh, they didn’t have handcuffs that could fit your 8-year-old wrists, so they told you to just hold onto this iPad for your entire sentence. Nice.

“The fuck do you want, mudass?” says Durango, whose voice sounds like that of a pretty good amateur bodybuilder. He lights a cigarette he found on the ground.

“Oh, is the little baby crying?” Durango asks, revealing one of his arms in the process.

“Stop crying! You don’t know what real pain is, kid. No one in your generation does. You’re all a bunch of goddamn piles of soft, rancid lunch meat, if you ask me. The last time I cried I was 13 years old, stationed in Antarctica. My platoon and I had been fighting for two weeks straight down in the trenches with no relief from enemy bullets or bombs. We were cold, and the coats the army had given us were just horseshit. They were tank tops, basically, without the middle part. Bunch of us got frostbite, including yours truly—me, Durango.

“It was brutal, kid. Just fuckin’ brutal. I thought I was going to die about a dozen times. Hell, maybe even two dozen times. But that’s not the reason I cried. I lost my best friend, but that wasn’t the reason I cried either. Both my parents died too, but that also was not the reason for my tears. No, I cried when I accidentally shot a penguin and it died. Shot it to fuckin’ hell, kid. Put it smack-dab right in Satan’s garage on the penguin shelf. And I just lost it. I’m not sure what it was that made me cry, exactly. I don’t even like penguins that much. Hell, I was probably trying to shoot the penguin on purpose just because I was bored and wanted to see what would happen. But it made me cry. What you’re crying about now? It doesn’t even come close to the time I cried in the army due to shooting a penguin. Nowhere near.”

“So, let’s try that again, and this time without the wet slop coming out of your head. The fuck do you want, mudass?”

“Wine? Ha! You can’t handle wine. Wine is the toothbrush of the soul’s mangled teeth, motherfucker, and your teeth are scrubbed with the palm of the town dentist. When I was in the army, I saw a whale get eaten by a much smaller whale, and I also shot a penguin. You? The worst thing that’s ever happened to you was having your five parents and their one friend get sent to jail, maybe for a very long time.”

Hmm. Looks like you’re going to have to do something badass to prove to Durango that you’re worthy of wine. What are you going to do?

“Holy shit, 8-year-old,” growls Durango. “I had no idea you were so hardcore. I like your style. It’s the style of a chef who screams, or someone who fights an animal in a boxing ring. Sure, I’ll buy you illegal wine. Let’s go.”

You write your message on the cardboard box and hop in with Durango, and after a few minutes, a 32-year-old mailman picks you up with a great deal of pride.

“There are no air holes in this box!” says the 32-year-old mailman with great pride.

Oh Christ, did you remember to poke holes in your cardboard box?

You died because you and Durango forgot to punch air holes in a box that says “Hey You Fucking Mailman, Take This To The Wine Store” on the front. When the box was delivered to the Wine Store, the leader of the wine store opened it and said, “Somebody sent me bones.” Then, he put the box in a closet and forgot about it.

That’s Durango’s skeleton. Your skeleton is somewhere on the bottom.

You arrive at what can only be described as a Wine Store in no time.

But Durango pays the Wine Store no mind. He continues on, going faster and faster, heading deeper and deeper into the woods. At no point does he say, “I accidentally missed the Wine Store and am currently in the process of turning around.”

This can’t be good.

Suddenly, Durango stops. He puts on a black-and-white sweatshirt similar to the one that an undercover cop would wear, and picks a cigarette up off the ground and puts it in his mouth.

“Get out,” says Durango with the sudden air of someone who has been an undercover cop this whole time.

“Wrong.”

“Hands behind your back, milkfuck.” says Durango. “And guess what? I’ve been an undercover cop this whole time. Yeah, that’s right. This year, my assignment for the army was to become a cop and arrest underage drinkers. I never got kicked out of the army—in fact, they gave me this promotion. That was just my cover.”

“Hell yeah, you did. But now you’re going to jail. You’re gonna get eaten alive in there, maybe for real, and not just as a metaphor.”

Durango arrested you for wanting wine, which isn’t a crime, and sent you to jail. They gave you an iPad to hold for the entirety of your sentence because your wrists were too small to fit into handcuffs.

Looks like you were unable to acquire wine without getting arrested. You lose.

“…”

“Shit,” says Durango. “You’re right. Wanting wine as a minor isn’t a crime. You didn’t drink it or smell it or acquire it or anything. Fuck. Sorry, kid. You’re free to go. My boss, the president, is going to be so disappointed in me.”

Phew! That was close—but not so close that you want to give up the search for wine. After all, it smelled really good. Remember how good it smelled? Of course you do.

Do you have any other ideas for acquiring wine?

Death on the road: can Mumbai shed its honour as the’ vehicle gate-crash uppercase ‘?

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One person is killed on Mumbais superhighways every 15 hours, the worst preserve in India. In an attempt to get a traction on the chaos, the police are get digital recording fines electronically and installing CCTV. But will it stop people taking jeopardies?

For 30 times after she was hit, Archana Pandya lay bleeding on a superhighway in the busy Mumbai suburb of Goregaon. The 22 -year-old, who had just started a new job, was on her mode home from undertaking when she was the victim of a hit-and-run. She died of her hurts. There were a lot of people there, and it happened right opposite a police headquarters, but no one came forward to help, says her brother Siddharth Pandya. Its not the roads; in India, its the person or persons the hell is unsafe.

Pandya was one of 586 parties killed in road accidents in Mumbai in 2015, the equivalent of one death every 15 hours. Another 2,034 were seriously injured. The long response times of ambulances and emergency vehicles, coupled with the unwillingness of viewers to facilitate street casualties for panic of being detained by police and hospitals, contribute to slow, distressing deaths for hundreds of beings every year. As a outcome, Mumbai a city with approximately the same number of cars as London, but more than four times the number of road fatalities has become known as Indias crash capital. In 2015 there used to be 23,468 recorded congestion conflicts: the highest in the country.

The citys urban geography has helped spawn a culture of negligent driving. Vehicles zigzag through dense traffic jam, cutting paths, engulf from the left or zipping past red lights. Operators are well aware that criminal penalties are small and the the opportunities of getting caught are low. Many scoff at the idea of wearing a seatbelt, while others casually take phone calls and react text meanings as they steer through the maze of cars.

These lax attitudes and dangerous driving garbs are spawned right from the driving experiment, which exists mainly as a formality and is readily smoothed with a small bribe. Aditi Deopujari, a Mumbai resident who got her “drivers licence” in 2000, clarifies: I was part of a driving institution that had a setup with the Motor Vehicles Department[ which issues licences ]. I proved up and had some pattern rounds, but never had to sit the exam or had any written research regarding the rules. I just got handed the licence. Another resident, who asked to remain anonymous, says: I literally had to drive five metres forwards, and then five metres reversal. That was it, I passed.

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Mumbai has the highest density of cars in India. Image: Alamy

In an is making an effort to get a grasp on the chaos, Milind Bharambe, the head of the traffic police, is presiding over a new traffic control experimentation. The municipality has given all congestion polices electronic designs to question fines, and has installed 4,000 CCTV cameras at conjunctions and signals. After five contraventions, we are going to start taking away licences, says Bharambe, whose is our intention to digitise the traffic control method takes clues from Prime Minister Narendra Modis digital India programme.

Watch, says police officer Prashant Prabhu, motioning towards a traffic light at a busy conjunction on the Mumbai marina. Across the road, the light is about to go from green to ruby-red. But just as he predicts, autoes accelerate through, hoping to cross the signal as the yellowed twinklings. Some keep driving even after the brightnes get crimson.

Signal jumping is the biggest offence at this conjugation, he says. Everyone reckons, the light-footed has just transformed blood-red, let me try to get through. None wants to wait.

Prabhu startles out and flags down a motorbike that has just sped through the red light. He asks for the equestrians licence, then draws out a calculator-like invention, and flubs trying to enter his password into the brand-new machine. Eventually he punches in the licence count and asks for a debit card to pay the 200 rupee( 2.40) fine.

Sometimes people refuse to give their driving licence. OK , no problem, we just placed their licence plateful numeral into the machine, and it will automatically send a fine to their telephone, he says. This path we have a record of all the traffic offences each motorist has committed.

Milind
Milind Bharambe in its term of office

Until last-place month, transaction penalties for even the most serious faults were issued on paper, with no way to check if a operator was a repeat offender, says Baharambe. Weve been running the programme for just one month, and already weve given out over 150,000 fines.

Bharambe seems a believable nominee for the enormous task of modernising Mumbais archaic traffic policing system. His office walls feature likeness of the Hindu elephant god Ganesh as well as live flow of CCTV footage from around the city; on his wrist is an Apple watch. He has a black belt in karate, a 10 -year triumphing streak in state-wide shooting competitions, and a solid chronicle as a policeman his achievements include setting up the rapid reaction crew during the Mumbai terrorist attack of 2008. And he has a biography of introducing tech-based initiatives as superintendent of police in Sangli and Thane, two metropolitans near Mumbai.

As well as digitising commerce offences, his contrive includes the more analogue solution of brand-new hydraulic towing vans, which can move 4x4s until now, SUVs that had being severely parked or to participate in crashes had to be left on the road until their operator moved them. He has also invested in digital signboards to alert about roadworks or coincidences. This is the first time that something like this is being done in the country.

One floor below Bharambes office, Kishore Shinde, the traffic polices firstly heads of state of multimedia, is checking on duets of uniformed police officers these are the officers tasked with using the brand-new CCTV cameras to issue tickets and penalties remotely. Shinde also administers a brand-new complaints system, which receives more than 300 messages from disappointed operators every day.

The biggest editions are traffic jams , no parking, collisions, and oil pours on the road leading, he says. Were making all the penalties cashless, so moves can offer via charge card or mobile phone. We know there is corruption and bribery even in our own district, like there is from top to bottom everywhere in India. But once you compensate by charge card, that means we have a record of the transaction. No police officer can just take a cut for themselves.

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A mortal intersects in the downpour in Mumbai. Image: Rafiq Maqbool/ AP

Although digitising Mumbais traffic activities is a significant switching that could improve efficiency and reduce decay, Siddharth Pandya, friend of Archana, disbelieves it will have much impact on the death toll. Good-for-nothing has changed, he says. Many of the CCTVs police invested before are not fully retained or dont run, so why would it be different now? Where Archana was killed there was a CCTV camera, but it was broken, so we never found out who touched her.

Bharambe, for his part, highlights the fact that Mumbais collision statistics appear worse than other Indian metropolitans because the Mumbai police are better at preserving coincidences. He highlights the fact that Delhi has four times as numerous vehicles as Mumbai but scarcely evidences any no-injury accidents, in a deliberate effort to keep disintegrate statistics low-grade. He likewise points to inefficiency, corruption and red tape within a complex web of urban development authorities. We have to keep cleaning up their mess, he says.

Harish Wahi, director of road safety NGO Equal Streets, is of the view that the citys traffic problems guide even deeper.

South Bombay was built in British colonial times, and all of new Bombay has taken condition very quickly, post-1 980 s. Because of the velocity of that increment, the planning and caliber of roads has disappeared. On surface of that, sidewalks are intruded upon by hawkers or shops, so pedestrians have no choice but to move on busy streets.

Prabhu, trafficking in human beings policeman on Mumbais marina, says police are blamed unfairly for street fatalities. I am literally on my hoofs the whole day. I barely sit down. The problem is the public doesnt want to drive properly they are only want to reach their end as fast as possible.

Bharambe admits that his digital drive is simply like to reduce fatalities by a small fraction. The people also have to take specific responsibilities, he says. Look, two years ago , none of the people on motorbikes were wearing helmets. Now, since weve started enforcing[ helmet wearing ], youll envision most of the drivers have their helmets. But youll still meet men who are driving their motorbikes wearing helmets themselves, but the wife and children sitting behind them are not. Now tell me, if people themselves are taking such risks with their own familys lives, then what can we do?

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