Sweets for breakfast, pillow crusades on ask, and no straightening up … what happened when three lineages tell the kids call the shots for a week?

‘The house has the airless discombobulation of a student house in the 90 s, the day after a big nighttime out on ecstasy ‘: Decca Aitkenhead

Three hours in, I feel weightless, nearly giddy. I’m lying on the sofa with my boys, chewing chocolate, watching telly, and it is no exaggeration to say that I am having the time of “peoples lives”. For the first time in eight and a half times, I am not in charge. This exotic wizard of relaxation is absolutely unfamiliar- and yet stimulate a distant reminiscence of who I used to be.

The kids-in-charge experiment began at 1pm, and I can’t believe how well it’s going. In truth I’d been dreading it, poised for bloodbath, but so far it has been nothing but merriment. At 1.01 pm the boys had raced to the bakery and spent PS10 on cakes, before charging on up the road for lunch in McDonald’s. I’m very much enjoying the lack of washing-up, and curious to see what they will chew next.

Jake proposes a trip to the corner shop for clauses. I swim along the sidewalk beside him, laughing at his jokes; his feeling is unrecognisably effervescent, fizzing with brain, and I tell him he’s on cracking figure. He halts and turns to me, his showing suddenly earnest.

” But don’t you find? This is the real me. Your rules realize me proceed ,” and he decreases, impression his shoulders and depicting his wrists together as if cuffed.” But our rules have unleashed the real me ,” and he skips off into the shop.

Jake and Joe’s rules

Decca isn’t allowed to say no
No baths
Hourly food fight
Unlimited screens
No bedtime
Decca has to play Laser Tag when we want
Unlimited sugaries and crisp and chocolates and fizzy drinks
Decca has to disco dance when we want
Email Donald Trump every 10 hours to insult him
We are allowed to get recreations on Decca’s phone
Allowed to swear
Unlimited ocean fights
Worst table manners
No vegetables
Allowed to jump on Decca’s bed, to play on a Wii and to pee on the toilet sit Sarfraz Manzoor with his wife Bridget and daughter Laila. Photograph: David Vintiner for the Guardian Watch more Tv

Have Mummy and Daddy both read to me at bedtime

No quarrelling

Daddy not to look at his telephone at dinnertime

Breakfast of Coco Pops

Dinner of fish thumbs, microchips and peas

Bedtime when I require

Daddy singing songs from Matilda at bedtime

No tidying up Clover with her five children( from left) Dash, Jimmy, Evangeline, Lester and Dolly. Picture: David Vintiner for the Guardian A filch anywhere, any time Weekly family games nighttime

Themed dinner every night- Mexican, Indian, etc

Constant supply of chocolate cereal

We decide bedtime

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