By the time he was 36 years old, neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi had also deserved a master’s grade in English literature and won neuroscience’s highest research bestow. He was married to a successful internist and was considered a top potential for a prestigious neuroscience professorship at Stanford University.

Then he found out he had theatre IV lung cancer.

“The diagnosis was immediate, ” he wrote in his new memoir, When Breath Becomes Air , which was published posthumously this month( Kalanithi died in March 2015 ). “In my neurosurgical training, I had reviewed hundreds of scans for fellow doctors to see if surgery offered any hope. I’d scribble in the chart ‘Widely metastatic illnes — no persona for surgery, ‘ and move on.”

The brand-new book lines Kalanithi’s recalls during his last year and a half of life, including his quest to rebuttal one of the existential questions that inspired him to devote his life to medicine in first place: “What moves human rights meaningful, even in the face of fatality and spoil? “

Here are four musing insights from Kalanithi’s memoir:

1. It’s up to you to find your values.

Getty Images

When Kalanithi first discovers he has terminal lung cancer, he presses his oncologist, Emma, to be specific about his prognosis.

“If I had a sense of how much occasion I have left, it’d be easier, ” he responds when Emma refuses to placed a number on his life expectancy. “If I had two years, I’d write. If I had 10, I’d get back to surgery and science.”

Instead of give way to his request, Emma tells Kalanithi to “find his values.” It’s a mandate he meets challenging, because, as he writes, “the touchy part of illness is that, as you go through it, your values are constantly changing. You try to figure out what matters to you, and then you keep figuring it out.”

Kalanithi returns to neuroscience for a short strain, but eventually transitions into the role of family man, spouse, and, of course, columnist. While future prospects of death hastens up Kalanithi’s life shift, the notion of reinventing his appraises as he transitions through different life stagecoaches is a important one.

“Emma hadn’t given me back my old identity, ” Kalanithi writes. “She’d kept my ability to forge a new one.”

2. Each of us can only hear part of the picture.

Getty Images

When Kalanithi returns to his own infirmary as individual patients in a hospital costume, instead of as a surgeon, he envisions for the first time how different cancer is on the other side of the white coat.

“Human knowledge is never contained in one person, ” he realizes , noting that a medical doctor, patient, designer, economist, pearl diver, alcoholic, cable person, sheep farmer, beggar and pastor all check the world differently. “It germinates from such relationships we create between one another and the world, and still it is never complete.”

Regardless of Kalanithi’s neuroscience gifts or aptitude with a scalpel, it takes becoming a cancer case himself before he can truly empathize with his patients’ and their families’ suffering.

3. None ‘has it coming.’

Getty Images

As Kalanithi settles into life as nearby residents, he begins to worry that although he’s gaining competence as a physician, he’s becoming desensitized to trauma and human suffering, and attaining “more moral moves than paces, ” as he puts it.

These aren’t baseless anxieties. Kalanithi recounts being too busy to refute cancer patients’ topics thoroughly, and an incident with a defiant veteran who re-injured himself within weeks of ignoring his doctors’ admonition. “I stitched the dehiscent meander as he squealed in pain, telling myself he’d had it coming, ” Kalanithi writes.

It takes a fellow medical institution student’s extinction in a gondola gate-crash for Kalanithi to course-correct. “Nobody has it coming, ” he realizes. “As a resident, my highest standard was not saving lives — everyone dies eventually — but steering individual patients or clas to an understanding of fatality or illness.”

In practice, Kalanithi changes his informed consent process from an obligation to take measures into an “opportunity to forge a covenant with a suffer compatriot.” It’s too a good remember to all of us about the power of human connection.

4. Life isn’t about shunning suffering.

Getty Images

When Kalanithi and his wife, Lucy, discuss whether or not to have a child together during Kalanithi’s final months, Kalanithi has the perfect have responded to Lucy’s question about whether saying goodbye to a child would ultimately oblige his death more painful.

“Wouldn’t it be great if it did? ” he responds, observing that both he and Lucy felt that life wasn’t about scaping bear. Certainly, Kalanithi’s relationship to his daughter, Cady, is the underpinning of his memoir and a shining light in his very last moment 😛 TAGEND

“You filled a expiring man’s daylights with a sated exhilaration, ” he writes. “A joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a pleasure that does not hunger for more and more, but rests, filled. In this time, right now, that is an enormous thing.”