Sweets for breakfast, pillow fights on require, and no tidying up … what happened when three lineages tell the teenagers call the fires for a week?

‘The house has the airless discombobulation of a student house in the 90 s, the day after a big darknes out on ecstasy ‘: Decca Aitkenhead

Three hours in, I find weightless, nearly giddy. I’m lying on the sofa with my boys, eating chocolate, watching telly, and it is no exaggeration to say that I am having the time of “peoples lives”. For the first time in eight and a half times, I am not in charge. This exotic perception of loosening is entirely unfamiliar- and hitherto stimulate a distant memory of who I used to be.

The kids-in-charge experiment began at 1pm, and I can’t believe how well it’s going. In actuality I’d been dreading it, poised for bloodbath, but so far it has been nothing but merriment. At 1.01 pm the sons had hastened to the bakery and spent PS10 on cakes, before accusing on up the road for lunch in McDonald’s. I’m very much experiencing the is a lack of washing-up, and curious to see what they will dine next.

Jake proposes a trip to the corner shop for providings. I float along the sidewalk beside him, laughing at his pranks; his climate is unrecognisably effervescent, fizzing with humour, and I tell him he’s on cracking species. He halts and returns to me, his formulation suddenly earnest.

” But don’t you learn? This is the real me. Your rules reach me lead ,” and he diminishes, hunching his shoulders and attracting his wrists together as if cuffed.” But our rules have loosed the real me ,” and he skips off into the shop.

Jake and Joe’s rules

Decca isn’t allowed to say no
No baths
Hourly nutrient fight
Unlimited screens
No bedtime
Decca has to play Laser Tag when we want
Unlimited desserts and crisps and chocolates and fizzy drinks
Decca has to disco hop when we want
Email Donald Trump every 10 hours to revile him
We are allowed to get games on Decca’s phone
Allowed to swear
Unlimited irrigate fights
Worst table manners
No vegetables
Allowed to jump on Decca’s bed, to play on a Wii and to urinate on the toilet set Sarfraz Manzoor with his wife Bridget and daughter Laila. Image: David Vintiner for the Guardian Watch more TV

Have Mummy and Daddy both read to me at bedtime

No reasoning

Daddy not to look at his telephone at dinnertime

Breakfast of Coco Pops

Dinner of fish thumbs, microchips and peas

Bedtime when I miss

Daddy singing hymns from Matilda at bedtime

No tidying up Clover with her five children( from left) Dash, Jimmy, Evangeline, Lester and Dolly. Image: David Vintiner for the Guardian A elevation anywhere, any time Weekly family competitions night

Themed dinner every night- Mexican, Indian, etc

Constant supply of chocolate cereal

We choose bedtime


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